Day 4 Journal Entry

For personality traits for TMS, I definitely fall under the Goodism and people pleaser because I try to be the peacemaker when people get into arguments and sometimes just let other people make decisions when we we are making plans because I don't want to upset anyone. Its certainly a good trait to have but I've realized that it takes away from my identity because it often limits my opportunity to explore. Now ive gotten the opportunity to travel anywhere in the world where I wanted and when I wanted but I didn't have another person to come along the ride with me which upset me. I need a structure but freedom.... there has to be an outline and routine that I follow but with the ability to swerve off the path with spontaneously when I want to to keep the entertainment going. That's where having a girlfriend makes perfect sense for me. I enjoyed just doing general dating for awhile but I believe the commitment of being in a relationship and enjoying adventures together with someone is something that I truly want and I KNOW that is in my very near future.

The most disheartening thing that a doctor has told me about my synptons is that it'll take time to heal. Now I fully understand that healing does take time, but once you actually can understand why the synptons are occurring (repressed emotions) they gradually start to abate and fade away. There will still be occasional times where it feels shitty but I just have to remind myself that is only my brain trying to fight back..... it feels comfortable in the state that i am now because its been like that for so long....but just wait when it lights up with constant endorphins ready to conquer the world. I can promise you I will never go back to where I was and id like to build an app similar to curable that has nutrients exercise meditation journaling podcasts educational content success stories yoga all rolled into one to expedite healing from pain stress and other alliments and also encourage continued self care 6 to 8 hours a week. Also it will include communities forums and news on some of the breakthroughs on mind body medicine and neuroplascity.