day 4/ mot disheartening thing a doctor has told me

A doctor once told me that he had patients who cannot have sex at all, that their body would go into spasm and that some patients never got better. He told me the pain was something I could very well have for the rest of my life. that was really hard to hear because not only did at the time this pain take a lot of joy out of every day activities yoga, watching tv, sex etc. but now there is a chance I could never get better? Never enjoy sex again or maybe never have it. Of course my mind went a million places... how will I live my life this way? who will want to date me? how can I be happy with all of this? All of that kinda stuff. But that was not the most disheartening thing. The most disheartening thing was that I thought I had to deal with all these horrible things and all I wanted to know to know was why do I deserve this... what even causes vulvodynia? But every time I asked a doctor what causes vulvodynia? they would all give me the same disheartening reply "we don't know"

Needless to say I am so glad I found this approach and the TMS community.

 

Hi, Kylin. The doctor who gave you no hope ought to have his license to practice taken away.
It's very unlikely that you have Vulvodynia. You have pains because of some repressed emotions. Put the fears behind you, erase them off your mental blackboard. Go on with the SEProgram and discover the emotions you are repressing. I suggest you read Dr. Sarno's 12 Daily Reminders. I especially like Herbie's extended version:

Herbie Douglas's Extended Version of Sarno's 12 DAILY REMINDERS

1) The pain is due to TMS. This is real pain or anxiety but its caused by subconscious tensions and triggers, stressors and traits to your reactions and fears and also when at boiling point your conscious tension can and does cause real pain too.

2) The main reason for the pain is mild oxygen deprivation. This means that when you are in pain then the the blood is restricted from going to your lower back for instance. The blood being restricted causes oxygen deprivation which causes the pain - remember, where theirs no oxygen then there is pain in the body. Also, The pain stays because of fear and focus to physical organic symptoms and repressions.

3) TMS is a harmless condition caused by my REPRESSED EMOTIONS so even though you think you can harm yourself from the years of pain you have felt and how you feel in general -- so far no reports have been heard from tms healing knowledge causing damage to anyone, it only helps.

4) The principle emotion is your repressed ANGER -- this means under your consciousness lies something that happens automatically to everyone. Tmsers have repressions that are stored because of our personality traits,traumas, stressors, fears, strain, etc... When these stored repressions build and build then eventually they cause the brain to send pain into your body to keep you from having an emotional crises. The mind-body thinks its helping you.

5) TMS exists to DISTRACT your attentions from the emotions, stressors, tensions and strains of your personality traits because if you can get distraction then you wont have to be in emotional turmoil. When you don't face and feel your emotions and they get repressed cause you didn't want to deal with something -- they are just adding up in this beaker, ready to pour over and create real pain and anxiety in your body.

6) Since my body is perfectly normal, there is nothing to fear. So in reality when I fear the pain or anxiety I just cause myself undo strain and tension adding to the beaker of pain. If I fear then I feed the pain, If I fear Its impossible to recondition. Fear keeps the pain and anxiety alive in the body through focus.

7) Therefore, physical activity is harmless. If I want to work against the pain I can but its better to lose some of the pain through losing your focus on the body and not fearing the pain. I can start my life over, I don't have to be in pain trying to heal cause I can face the repressions through awareness and journaling.

8) I am resuming all normal physical activity. I don't fear moving anymore. I believe in my bodies ability to heal now. I can move how I want and my patience in flow will be my power. I will not fear moving anymore. I will also practice going out and acting normal again, not in fear of what pain might do to me.

9) The pain is unimportant and powerless. Its only power is how it's hidden -- it's illusion, It's fear.

10) I will keep my attention on the emotional issues. I will think about my emotions and feel my emotions throughout the day. I will not judge, criticize or fear my emotions. I will not run from my emotional issues but face everyone of them. I will feel my emotions fully and cry if I need to. Then I will release the emotion and get my mind and thoughts back to my life and living in the present, in flow.

11) I am in control of all of this. This is how I recover.

I will be thinking PSYCHOLOGICALLY AT ALL TIMES. This means I will keep my thoughts on psychological issues like happiness, fear and anger -- traits and triggers, conditioning and journaling. The science behind mind-body/tms healing, etc.... This way I will not feed my thoughts to the body -- that is a trick of TMS.

12) TMS will always try to get me to focus on the body caused by the pain until I break its show and flair. When I get my attention off physical symptoms and on emotional issues and psychological issues then I will not feed the fear of the physical issues anymore thus making the tms of no effect. This will in return, give us the cure.

 

Thank you this is all very helpful! and yes all dr's trying to treat vulvodynia are going about it the wrong way because vulvodynia is just TMS. just the fact that MD's can't explain why the pain is there shows they shouldn't be trying to treat it haha.

 

Hi Kylin,

I am a guy but have a similar story. I am doing the structured program as well (on Day 8) but my most "disheartening thing a doctor told me" was related to sex and sexual function (I have Chronic Pelvic Pain Syndrome/Prostatitis). My old GP basically had no answers for the "why/how" and, beyond ineffective antibiotics, offered no treatments. He casually mentioned that sex might become very difficult and having children might be off the table (I was 29). My symptoms have ebbed and flowed over the years and at times the pain has been too bad to contemplate sex so his words have haunted me at times. TMS has already greatly helped my neck/shoulder tension so I hopeful it help me get over this other hurdle. Good luck!