Day 6 Meditation and frustration

I did the day 6 meditation today which felt wonderful after getting really frustrated with my journaling. I keep trying to "feel" my emotions and I start to feel them and the tears start to come to my eyes and then they just dry up. I feel like I am working too hard to try to to get them to come out. I also am journalling about events in the way past but I have had some major life events that have happened in the last 5 years and I would rather journal about those because I KNOW those have led me to where I am. Do I have to journal about things in my childhood when I have more recent events that upset me? If I journal about the more recent events, won't that help heal the pain that I think is related to them? The other thing that is frustrating is that I chose to journal on the computer because I am struggling with "RSI" and I thought this was a good way to ignore it and prove to my mind that I don't need the pain. But my arms and my right hand are killing me and seem to be getting worse. I don't want to stop using the computer because I don't want to give in to my TMS. Grrrr. Really frustrated and feeling disillusioned today. Thank goodness for the meditation. That helped me at least feel emotionally better despite my terrible arm and hand pain. Wishing I could be one of those people who just read the book and got instantly better.

 

Hi Spunky,

I was diagnosed with carpal tunnel / RSI. I don't know any book cures and they appear to be few and far between. However, I did follow Dr. Sarno's treatment plan in the divided mind. It took a few months but it got better - much better. I was afraid of the impact on my job. My point is not to worry about journaling the "right" way. As Sarno says, make a list of what causes you pain from your past present and future. Take one thing a day from that list and write an essay as long as you can about it. It did the trick for me with my hands (later came the anxiety and insomnia but that's for another post).

Hang in there. You are like most of us "normal" TMSers. Recovery comes over time.

-AC45

 

One more thing - I did my journaling with a pen and paper. If you have pain when you type, you may be putting extra pressure on yourself. I used to talk to my hand pain when I was journaling ("you can't give me TMS pain while I am journaling about TMS!") After a while, it would let up with the pen and paper. I went easy on the typing and used voice activated software for a while.

 

Thank you for both of your replies to my frustration post. I am actually going to try to journal by hand instead of on the computer. I think you are right that I am putting way too much pressure on myself. And of course my perfectionist self is silly enough to think there is a right way of journaling. I appreciate your reminding me that there is no "right" way. Just knowing that someone else had RSI and that it took a few months for your to heal has helped me to be more realistic about my own RSI. Thank you again. I really appreciate it.