New Program Day 6: The Fear Matrix

I was really glad to see today's analogy with the movie Matrix (yes because it is one of my favourites) but also because the post made me realise how much fear there is in the daily thoughts of my brain, almost every second thought is based on the fear of something happening or not happening accompanied by the 'what if'. I'm amazed by how much destructive thinking I do. Also, because I'm doing the old program at the same time and it was about bullying yourself today, I understood how much criticism, pressure and fear there is in my every day life. It makes so much sense to feel the way I feel if I'm constantly scanning the environment for possible threats and treating myself badly. One example, since my TMS started and I managed to go through the whole thing by working in the office and from home, I developed this fear that if I don't take my laptop with me home even if I'm coming back to the office the next day, something is going to go wrong, I won't feel good enough to come to work, will waste a day, my manager will get disappointed and so on and so on. I mean, how crazy is that. The 'what if' tricks me every time! Now I need to find a way (putting pressure on myself there already!) how to change that kind of thinking. Any thoughts?