Day 7 Progress

While I have only been doing the TMS structured program for 1 week, I can see changes in the level of pain I am having. I still have pretty terrible pain some days and at some times, but often just participating in this program helps to bring the pain down to a manageable level. Its extremely difficult for me to get well at this moment because I had a really bad experience with my husband about 2 months ago. He says he is genuinely sorry but he still kind of tends to justify the situation which scares me. I want to have the same feelings for him I used to have and we are going to therapy but I don't know if I can. I guess God will have to work on my heart or either let me know clearly that its time to move on. Either way, this is one of the most difficult times in my life emotionally. I had 3 whammies back to back with Nursing School, then an insane Cipro reaction which kicked off the TMS 18 months ago, and then this stuff with my husband. I feel as if I can get better under these circumstances, I will be able to face whatever else comes my way in the future without my pain ever getting as bad as it has been. Maybe I'm being naive, maybe there will be worse to come in my life, but I can't dwell on that. All I can do is continue to do the work, try to check in with myself and hope for a better tomorrow. I do think once the issues with my husband are settled one way or the other, it will be a huge weight off of my shoulders and will help the pain tremendously. However I can still work on it now and help myself now because I do not have to let circumstances dictate my quality of life. I am so thankful for finding this program and for all of you who understand and support me and each other in this journey.

 

Hi, annarowens. It's a very good sign that the SRprogram is working for you, since you sense that your pain is less than it was before you started it.

About your husband, he sounds like he's trying to be helpful and understanding. Many men can't even get that far in responding to a wife's concerns.
If you're patient with him and don't expect the leopard to completely change his spots, your marriage will be happier and your pain will go away completely.

 

Hi Walt! Thank you for the perspective on my husband. You are right, he has not handled situations the way I thought a husband should, but we are both relatively young and were hit with a lot of tough situations right out of the gait, 2 months after we got married. We had been together for 4 years prior but hadn't had any real stressors during that time. I think it is important for me to remember to give credit where it's due and continue to be patient and loving towards him as I am becoming more patient and loving towards myself. I really appreciate your positivity and willingness to tell it like it is! Have a great day!

Anna

 

Hi Anna,
One technique you can use is to simply see that the stress and conflict and fear and your anger and disappointment around the relationship are the underlying causes of your pain. With this view, there is nothing that needs to be done about this to relieve the pain. You are seeing the real cause. Seeing it for what it is takes away the power to distract, so the symptoms diminish.
Andy B.

 

I'm so sorry to hear about the shitty things happening to you right now. I think the last two months of tms therapy with the specialist I'm talking to has taught me that it's not that we can or have to avoid stress and the crap that life can throw our way. It's about learning to step in for ourselves and learn a new way to process sadness and anger (or anxiety etc). It sounds like your husband has given you a lot to be angry about. What about working with a specialist? Sometimes things are bigger than we can possibly perceive. If you want a contact via Skype, let me know. It's been a wonderfully humbling experience for me and has challenged my thinking in ways I couldn't have done alone.

Warmest of wishes,

Crissy

 

Andy, you're right about that concerning my relationship and that's actually not a perspective I've been using and I think it will help me. I am going to begin looking at it even further from an outside perspective rather than being inside of it and realizing it doesn't have to control my quality of life. Instead, its just the fact that "it is" that has hurt me and hurts me still, although I am definitely getting better. Crissy, I am actually working with a TMS specialist and she has helped me so much! This past week was really a breakthrough for me I think. Its hard to stay with that breakthrough, we innately revert back to our old patterns. But yes I would agree with you that a specialist is only a compliment to working this program! I hope both of you have a wonderful weekend and thank you for responding to my post!

Anna

 

Anna - how

Anna: Fluoroquinolines tried to kill me about two years ago. I have nearly made a recovery except for vicious pain in my arms that I assumed was tendinopathy...but an MRI reveled it is not - chronic muscle strain and tennis elbow. Hmmm..... I am wondering about TMS. I am curious to know how you are doing now?