day 8..getting better

Here I am at day 8, and I am so pleased that I am seeing improvements. The best thing I think is the reclaiming of control. 2 weeks ago I was desperate and at rock bottom. Today I feel I am not dominated by pain anymore.
I am still seeing physio and acupuncturist. I told them that I am convinced that I have mind body stuff that is causing my pain and health issues. They are both on board and agree with me. My feeling is I will not need them for too much longer.
I am finding the journalling piece very eye opening. I know my childhood and my feelings about it to this day cause me immense pain and anger..but it's the little things that come up that interest me..I only just realized the huge burden I must have carried as a child..how wee lived in a world where outside appearances were paramount and you did anything not to let others in..I realized in some ways I still do this..how I am fearful of letting ppl get close to me, see the real me....lots to think about.
I had an interesting experience during the night where I woke up in pain ( mine is bladder pain) during the night. Before this has meant the start of days or weeks of unending pain and panic. As I felt my self starting to stiffen and panic, I was able to stop, ask myself what I was worried about. I had just woken from a dream so I suspect something I had been dreaming about had triggered it. Focusing on the emotional had a direct effect on my pain. Within a few minutes It had lessened enough for me to fall back to sleep. In the morning it was gone. The first time this has happened. I questioned it at first, but then I was thrilled! Looking forward to some more improvements in the days/ weeks to come.

 

Hi, fneal. Your im povement must make you feel real good. You woke up in pain, reminded yourself it was not structural but TMS and it went away.
That's the secret to total healing.

I like to think there is a white light around me... calming and healing me. I'm a Christian so I believe it is the Holy Spirit within me, guiding
and protecting me. To others it may just be "TMS knowledge penicillin." It all works.