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Day 8 how my wife behavior resulted in regressed anger and agony

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by backpainsuffer, Sep 21, 2025.

  1. backpainsuffer

    backpainsuffer Newcomer

    I’m a type a personality who is clean always believe in putting stuff where it belongs
    My wife is 180 of what I’m
    1. She would use the rest room and leave her hair and never bother to clean
    2. She will use the sink and never bother to clean
    3. when she cooks she leaves a mess behind her
    4. The kitchen floor is crawling with bugs never cares to clean
    5. in the name of cleaning she would dump the important and unimportant thing under the stairs

    every day I go with this helplessly, in anger, Agony , pain and Hatred
    At times i tried confronting her but to not use. It has resulted in unnecessary quarrel.

    I got through this every this this resentment has led to the regressed anger that is debitating my back and now i realize this
    I’m trying to learn to let go of things and get to a understanding that its not worth going through this anger
     
    backpainsuffer, Sep 21, 2025
    #1
  2. Bluepolka

    Bluepolka Newcomer

    Wow! You sound exactly like how I was with my husband. I was the control freak and it really riled me up when things weren’t done the way “I thought” they should be….
     
    Bluepolka, Sep 21, 2025
    #2
    JanAtheCPA likes this.
  3. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    LOL, @Bluepolka - been there, and also been guilty of that.

    Which is not to say, @backpainsuffer, that we're not taking your situation seriously. The amount of aggravation that you are suffering seems quite extreme. We will certainly recommend that you read Healing Back Pain by Dr John Sarno, and immediately start doing our free Structured Educational Program on the main TMSWiki.org. However, I feel obligated to urge you to seek counseling, preferably with your wife and also separately for yourself.
     
    JanAtheCPA, Sep 22, 2025
    #3
    Smhatina likes this.
  4. Ellen

    Ellen Beloved Grand Eagle

    The writer/spiritual teacher, Eckhart Tolle, states that we have 3 options when in a situation that is causing us distress.

    We can either:
    1) Change the situation (try to negotiate a better arrangement and a therapist may be able to help with this)
    2) Leave the situation (this is radical but may make sense after trying #1 for some time with no improvement)
    3) Accept the situation (this takes a lot of internal work, but is always a possibility)

    None are easy, but neither is the status quo.
     
    Ellen, Sep 22, 2025
    #4
    JanAtheCPA likes this.

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