Day 8 some thoughts

So I have completed a week of the program and some things are becoming clearer. My pain (mostly in my neck and shoulders) has been reduced but it has still been up and down. It will be acute and then suddenly disappear, which I find quite interesting.

Today was a day to write an unsent letter. I was recalling a particular episode with my mother when she said something to 9 year old me which was absolutely TERRIFYING and threatening. I didn't feel like I needed to write to my mother this time, though. I have already talked to her in person about this episode and several others and have been told she doesn't remember or that I was just a dramatic child so I decided to write to nine year old me as the person I am now. It felt right but the tears flowed and I just wanted to put my arms around that terrified child in her bed. I also told my younger self that I would grow up and be a kick ass mom not only to my own daughters, but to other people who need a chosen mom. I still feel a little sad but there was also something very cathartic about today's writing session.

 

Sounds like you are doing a great job! And it is great that you are noticing the "interesting" movement of your pain. My symptoms did the same thing . . . come and go quickly, or change intensity. Excellent evidence that the source is the brain and not a structural problem.