Day 8

I am 100% having trouble identifying the emotions tied to the pain because most of my pain is chronic and does not suddenly occur around specific events - that I've been able to notice so far. I started reading about TMS one year ago and initially had luck being able to turn off some of my pain and reduce another when I reminded myself of the science behind it. But it didn't help with everything, but my pain was reduced enough that I took a break and didn't keep up with TMS at all. I am just now coming back to it one year later because I have noticed a sudden elevation of my existing pain and a few new things have popped up. I think I may know what some of the new pain may have to do with emotionally, but it's just a theory for now. But I do not feel that it's the source of everything. I am starting work with a psychologist to help me hopefully identify all the emotions I'm not aware of. I feel that working through this recovery program and simultaneously working with a psychologist may be the ticket for me to get past this new pain and resolve the lingering, more chronic pain as well.

 

JRMTL

Sounds like you're doing great work. I would suggest that it might be helpful after sessions to write down how what you're learning with the psychologist connects as to the source of your pain. "I see that I am sad, and that this feeling is threatening to my sense of identity and needs to be defended against, put out of my awareness, so therefore I understand a likely source of my ___ symptoms." That kind of thing.

As you go through the day and notice symptoms, contemplate, just as you're doing "what might this be?" The attention, the self-attunement, and the application of "thinking psychologically" even in an imperfect way is very valuable. Your theory about the source of new pain is probably right-on. Learn to trust this understanding, which helps turn away from "thinking physically."

Good luck in your journey,

Andy