Day 8

So I've been focussing on the rage. Every time I experience pain, I think, hmm, what am I angry about? And it turns out I'm angry all the time. Like all. The. Time.

Clearly I wa previously repressing my anger. But now I am open to experiencing it, I am kind of freaked out by its frequency and intensity.

Today I took a bite of banana. And then my office phone rang. Rage! Will it be like this forever? Because previously I was good at putting things into perspective. Is it the end of the world? No. Its just a banana. But now? I'm focussing on the rage and it seems near constant.

Please tell me this will get better?

 

It will get better. You get used to being able to handle feeling your emotions and then this intensity will leave you. This intensity feeling is what the pain was masking. Now you get to feel the emotions. Just don't fear them and start to just feel them without trying to get away from them or reacting to them. Just notice them, Just be and soon this anxiety will leave too and then you will know how to control the TMS.
Bless You

 

Herbie, thanks so much for your reply. I am so surprised by the feelings I have been hiding from all this time, I would never have described myself as someone who gets angry (which is clearly the problem!).

I'm very glad to hear these feelings will come and go without dominating my thoughts. Thank you very much for the reassurance.