Day 9 - symptoms much worse - need feedback

I just finished Day 9 and my symptoms are worse than ever after a very emotional journal entry. I have no problem recognizing that my unconscious mind is causing the pain, but it seems like the more I research and dig, the harder my brain fights it by giving me pain. My fear of pain is increasing. I am also having a harder time dealing with stress. How critical is journaling to ultimate success? Should I take a break or just keep trucking? (I posted this in General Support Forum - probably should have posted it here).

 

bman, I don't have an answer to your questions? I'm pretty new at this as well. What I have is lots of support and empathy and a vision of disappearing pain for you.

 

Just saw the below in another post. Perhaps it can be useful for you.

"I'm three weeks through the program, and think it's great. I needed to make one major change to it, though. It might be worth including mention of this in the program itself. I've found that journaling every day (even with one day per week off, and the one time that I was instructed to write about a childhood memory) has put me in a very negatively-skewed frame of mind. It was imperceptible at first.

I think that people should be warned about falling into negativity, and that they be encouraged to monitor themselves for it, and journal positively when this happens."

 

Thanks for your thoughts. I have been dealing with TMS for many years - went to TMS doctor in 2009 and again in 2013. I have successfully gotten rid of pain before without the intensity of the SEP. I think for me digging too deep is too emotional and too painful. I am going to focus on the more recent issues and learning to deal with my repressed emotions of today. Everyone has a different journey. The main thing is too recognize that there is no "one size fits all."

 

Hope that you're feeling better. This is not easy and it's not for wimps.
I understand how you're feeling. It's awful to be doing all of this hard emotional work with little but raw feelings to show for it.
Don't stop working the program in a way that feels safe and healing to you.
Keep at it.
It will work!

 

I stopped the SEP but went over some of the issues with my therapist (he is not a TMS therapist but is very understanding). Interestingly my symptoms and were not anywhere as bad with him. I continue the daily program and reread Alan's Recovery program each day. Today I started a new idea, whenever I start to think about pain I try to distract myself by thinking about where I'm at or just repeating "I'm safe and I am loved." I was able to drive for an hour (driving triggers my symptoms) and ride my bike for an hour with minimal symptoms. I feel more comfortable with more positive messages. Thanks for your support.