Day "first day of a new beginning"

I'm sure this has been said before, but I really don't know how to begin. I'm 52 and feel like a child in a man's body. Over half my life I've experienced a roller coaster of symptoms that have come and gone, each just as impactful if not growing in intensity. I sometimes joke that my brain is amping up the volume in order to continue to capture my attention. The more unexplainable, the better. I've experienced classic back pain, to groin pain, to dizziness spells, numbness and tingling, pain in knees, legs, and shoulders, and now fasciculations, heel pain, and burning in my calves. I toggle from disregard to dismay. I understand TMS, follow all the experts, have an advanced degree in a complimentary alternative medicine, but alas my brain says 'screw you, I'm the doctor and I'm telling you that you have some AWFUL disease, condition, diagnosis, gremlin that will lead to your demise'. How can I be so controlled by my own self? I meditate, exercise, breathe, eat healthy, create social connections, and more. Why am I so resistant? This is so frustrating that I feel I'm bathing in the fuel that my brain feeds off to create these crazy narrative that I become attached to. Ugh!!! Writing this just amplified my leg symptoms. I have to just laugh, or as the kids say it LOL. F

 

The Structured Educational Program will help you get to the bottom of things. I’m like you. A lotta knowledge, and TMS that keeps ratcheting up the ante. It just takes a lot more work than you think! But you can get there! Great people in here to help you! Welcome!