Day One, Here We Go

I read Dr. Sarno's book after not being able to sleep following a cortisone injection in my spine for a herniated disc. My symptoms were bilateral butt pain when I walked more than a mile or so, strong enough pain that I had quit hiking and walking any distance. The pain didn't interfere in my life other than that in any significant way.

I resonated with the book from the first page, especially in reference to mt having injuries, one after the other after the other over the last 10 years. I have done lots of work on what my need to have repeating injuries was, unable to stay out of judgement and think what's wrong with me that I need these injuries. Why can I not allow myself to be totally healthy.

I started doing the work daily, and my pain got better, than had an acute pain episode for several hours until I identified what my brain was trying to cover up. That happened 3 times, and i knew the program is working.

Yesterday when I got out of bed, I had excruciating pain in my life hip, butt, lower back. I had felt nothing like this in the past. It's a whole new level of pain. I was very scared and yet knew that it made sense that my brain was moving the pain around cuz I'm trying a new method of healing. Pain was so bad i resisted doing the Sarno work, thought about chiropractic and urgent care. Housemates suggested I talk with a friend who has had great success with the work. She suggested I go to the forum and read there and reread the book. I resisted it, and then dove into the forum. My pain didn't get better, and may attitude and groundedness did.

The pain is still very intense this morning. I have cancelled the appointments I had as walking is excruciating. I will reread the Sarno pages when I have finished this writing, and continue to let my brain know it's not fooling me and what it's doing doesn't work anymore. I'm willing to feel whatever is underneath, whatever my brain thinks it's protecting me from. Thanks for what you've done in the past, Brain. It doesn't work anymore.