Day One, part three

I've come a long way in my understanding of TMS since I first joined the wiki in 2017. It's been an interesting and revealing ride, with some incredible leaps forward and a few devastating steps back. I'm not pain free, although I have pain-free days. The big takeaway for me is that after great resistance, an unnecessary and unhelpful surgery, a trip to see a TMS physician, and a step back to look at the big map of my life and how it brought me here, I totally and unreservedly see that all my "issues" (and there are a lot!) are TMS. All of them. And the specific reason that I'm back is because 2020 was a year that sucked in so, so many respects, and I think for me it added to my burden of fear - the world felt profoundly unsafe. That has made it easy to give away a lot of my capableness, to use the deliveries and curbside pick-ups that have become the norm, postpone appointments and social events, and just curl up in the "safety" of my comfy chair. It's also made me fatter!
So day by day I'm going to work through the SEP and take on my fear of change, my grief over a divorce I didn't want, and my alone-ness. I'm ready to have a bigger life than the one I've allowed myself. So here goes! Hello all!