Day One

I want to say my acceptance of the TMS diagnosis is 100%. If you want to know the truth, that is probably not it, but I'm sticking with it anyway. I'm convinced, the evidence is there and it all makes sense. I don't want to allow fear of disappointment (again!) to creep in, so I'm sticking with that. 100%

I have been to doctors, who want to do surgery. Physical therapists, who assure me that certain postures or exercises or stretches are the key to relief, but which never seemed to get me anywhere. I spent a lot of time and money with a Bowen therapist and the physiatrist she referred me to for injections to "release the fascia", and she spent a lot of time ($) trying to get my psoas to "release". Floated in pods filled with body temperature magnesium rich water. Jacuzzi. Chiropractor. Acupuncture. Lots of massage. Stretches. Lotions, potions, pills and powders. I would have undergone the surgery recommended, except that after every other miracle cure promised to me by well-meaning healers, I really don't have faith in that as a solution.

100% is really not that far off, and I don't want to allow room for doubts or negativity. It makes more sense than anything else I've been offered, and the success stories are there. If others can do it, why not me? I do not have horrific injuries, and now I understand (and truly believe) that the MRI stuff is interesting, but irrelevant. If others have worse spinal conditions but no pain, and still others have no spinal issues but do have pain, it's pretty clear that the MRI is an expensive bit of entertainment. Yeah, it ruled out some stuff, and actually, the first one I had discovered a huge benign mass that resulted in the removal of a kidney. I wouldn't have known about that had I not agreed to the MRI for my back pain! So that was useful.

And here's another bit of optmism. Since reading the book and watching some YouTube videos, I announced to my wife that my back pain is just a trick being played on me by my childish unconscious mind that thinks it is being helpful. I quit doing my stretches, told my Bowen therapist she would have to try to make her way without my contributions, and have "decided" that it is not based on anything real going on with my back. And I can honestly say that I am now feeling less miserable. Less pain. And when I do feel it, I remind myself that's a bad joke being played on me by myself. The modest results I've seen already give me great reason to hope and to believe that I have found the answer.

So yeah. 100%.

 

Congrats on your day one! I'm excited for you and your enthusiasm. Hey I just noticed before hitting post I skipped the paragraph relating to your kidney removal due to a back MRI. I had my ovaries removed after a MRI for my back. I already consider this TMS a possible life saver. Now all we have to do is look within and let it happen.