Don’t be trapped by lies: the story of my journey, so far

How how how in the world did I get stuck in my house for a year?! How did I allow myself to believe that my life was over? Dr. David Hanscom calls this The Abyss. It’s the black hole of despair and destruction that TMS can put you in, and the entire thing is built on lies.

First, you believe the lie that you are damaged and you can never get better. If and when you battle out from under that lie, and you actually believe you have TMS— then you think, “But, I’ll be one of the few who can’t get better from TMS.” This is another lie— because everyone who does the work gets better from TMS, sooner or later.

Then, you may actually physically go downhill because you’re trying to avoid pain by not doing anything. So, now you’re out of shape and you might even be so anxious that you’re afraid to leave your house (this is called agoraphobia; it’s an actual thing). You’re under the lie that you’re weak (which you’re not—you’re just out of shape); and you don’t have what it takes to leave the house (because you have anxiety).

These lies pile up until pretty soon you’re just a sack of potatoes sitting on the couch. That was my life. The only good thing was, I was on the forum every day— learning and applying things to help myself.

A month ago, I took a pick axe, and I started chopping through the rock wall of lies trapping me. I started a unique exercise program geared toward people with limited mobility (and beyond). This infused me with discipline, courage, confidence; and I started gaining strength!

Now, I knew I had to face the anxiety of leaving the house. For that, I used Claire Weekes. She’s an expert in helping people with anxiety— with a host of books and audiobooks. She teaches you exactly what’s going on in your body and how you can counter it. You have to supply the courage— and she even talks about how to do that.

Next, you just put yourself out there—-and the rewards are worth any kind of pain or fear you may go through—because it speaks to your primitive brain and tells it you are safe like nothing else. You are tempted to think that if you do hard things —you will just hurt more. But, you actually won’t. You’ll get yourself out of this lie! In fact, going through the pain and fear is the exact way to get out of it!

And that’s the story of my journey, so far. I left the house yesterday and visited my son for the first time in more than a year. I’m back in my hole today, like a little gopher. If I stay in my house and sit on the couch, I’ll go back to where I was. If I build on what I did yesterday by leaving the house again, I will keep getting better. I’m going to build! And each day I’m doing my journaling, learning about TMS on the forum, and most importantly, I’m doing my exercises.

There is practically no part of my body that doesn’t hurt—but I’ve gone from 16 symptoms to 8. I still have anxiety, but it is subsiding steadily. I just want anyone out there who is afraid to know that you can get out of The Abyss. I know it sounds impossible, because when I first heard it, I just laughed. People talked about their success and it seemed like they were taunting me with another lie. But it’s not!!!!

“Courage, old soldier!” Claire Weekes says. “You can do this!”

I don’t feel like I’m out of the woods yet, at all. It’s so easy to listen to the siren’s call of the lies and sink back into complacency. But, slowly, as you build more and more love for yourself, you start to believe that you are worth the fight. That’s what happened to me. And, it’s not a lie.

 

Great post Diana.
So well done on your venture out of the house. That was courageous.
Love Claire Weekes & her commanding yet reassuring voice.
Remember to incorporate fun in your new adventures & look forward to hearing about them.

Mala

 

Thank you, @Mala !

 

I'm happy for you that you faced your fears and let your house!!!!