Day 3 dumping the fear

Yesterday I had such a good experience being able to chase my pain away by standing up to it. I went pain free for a few hours! Today it has been a little harder. We went to see a movie tonight and it was hard not to be distracted by the pain in my hip, but I still enjoyed it. It was wonderful knowing there was no need to be afraid. Sometimes I feel like I'm just faking it till I make it with not being afraid. It's very hard for me to have outcome independence, too, but I know it's helping. I have conditioned myself to think I'm only having success with getting rid of TMS if the pain actually goes away. It is actually rather comforting knowing that's not true. I am not fearing the pain and waiting for it's car to run out of gas. It is hard not to be discouraged when there is pain still. Any thoughts on this?
I have a goal to go on a few walks this week, which usually isn't too hard for me. But I want to get back to running. I haven't gone running since April (I used to all the time). The TMS made my muscles cramp up so bad afterwards that it just wasn't enjoyable. I haven't done it since and feel a little nervous about trying it again, but I know it helps me deal with stress and emotions very well. When and how should I ease back in?

 

Hi Hilary… I have finally started exercising - running and biking after not doing anything for over a year. I used to be a triathlete and when I listened to all the doctors and being beaten down by the pain, I just stopped everything. But after doing this program and reading books, I took the bull by the horns and have started up again. I have pain but the aftermath is RELAXATION!! I am totally hooked on exercising my stress away. When I run or bike, and the pain comes up, I use the opportunity to talk to myself, talk back to my brain, visualize blood and oxygen flooding the area, or try to focus on something other than pain….And eventually it goes away. I just think of all those times, I looked at people running or biking and saying to myself "Well I guess those days are over." Alleluia!! I found out about TMS!!!! So I've started just a regular training program, building up strength and confidence… and even when and if I'm triggered with pain syndrome, I make myself get out there because as you said, it helps deal with stress. Just build up, listen to your body and you'll know the right amount to do. The ticket is to keep trying until the TMS gets the message of No More!

 

Thanks so much for the encouragement! I used to feel sad or even jealous when I saw others running so easily, too. Now that will be me again! I went for quite a long hike in the snow yesterday. I had some pain during, but no pain the rest of the day. It's true, doing physical activity really helps me believe my back is normal because it demonstrates it. Thanks!

 

Hi Hilary,
Wonderful to hear about your breakthroughs. I appreciate your understanding:
I have conditioned myself to think I'm only having success with getting rid of TMS if the pain actually goes away. It is actually rather comforting knowing that's not true. I am not fearing the pain and waiting for it's car to run out of gas.
I think this is such a tender awareness, to not be afraid of the pain, to have patience. And also, I am making space that when I am afraid of the pain, that's OK too. It is a relief to be real with myself. How natural to be with ourselves in the fear, which to me is different than letting the fear run us, as it does with TMS "gone wild."
I still have some "pain" or stiffness, and indeed my regular jogging exercise helps. I added minutes of jogging time very slowly, so that the TMS wouldn't have any "reason" to think I was injured. Good Luck!!