Day 8 Emotion + Pain

Day8 has asked if I had any success in recognising emotions connected to my
pain. I am v.challenged by this. This pertinent question has really tested my
inability to move beyond my physical & medical diagnosis.

I feel so estranged from my emotional self.

Mostly all I feel is pain.

Sad, but true.

 

Try not to despair with this one Pete, it would be nothing short of amazing if you were able to honestly answer "yes" to that question at this point. You've had an entire lifetime learning how to hide your emotions from others & from yourself. It is a completely unrealistic expectation for many of us to even think that we are going to undo our incredible hiding abilities in 8 short days. (I've been at this since the end of December and I just discovered feelings 2 days ago that I hadn't so much as a clue even existed)

As much as it feels like your sub-conscious is your worst enemy, it is tasked with the incredibly difficult and admirable responsibility of protecting you - from others and also from yourself. It has to begin trusting you before it will allow you to start recognizing emotions. Trust does not form immediately. As ridiculous as it may seem/feel, try being kind to your sub-conscious - thank it for it's diligence and dedication to protecting you, begin to show it that you are both on the same side and it will begin to (slowly) work with you.

Try to think of this the same way you'd think of a young child learning to ride a bike, and talk to yourself in the same compassionate, encouraging way that you would speak to the child. None of us are born knowing how to ride a bike, it takes practice and most of us fall off a bunch of times, get bruises and scrapes, and even crash into a few things before we master it. Learning to feel your feelings is very much like learning to ride a bike - the key is in having the courage to welcome the scrapes as the learning experience they are and keep getting back on the bike.

 

Leslie.

As always sound advice.

Glad you found your feelings.
I bet that was a bit of surprise.

Mine, although not completely dormant,
cant be too far away either.

A great quote I read today....

'pain symptoms are attempts of self-care'
Joyce McDougall
'Theatres Of The Body: A Psychoanalytic
Approach to Psychosomatice Illness'

 

Peter - how about a cheat sheet? http://www.cnvc.org/Training/needs-inventory.

Have a look at this inventory of needs to see which ones are most important to you right now. Then click on the link for inventory of feelings to get lists of words describing how you feel when your needs are met and when they are not. You can ponder or journal about the ones you circle. You may just make some connections to your symptoms this way.

 

yb44.

a favourite thing. NVC.

more jackal than giraffe when it comes
to self love. will re-visit to do inventory work.

like your journaling idea.

thanks.

pete