Day 1 Episode IV - A New Hope

Sorry for this cringe Star Wars reference.

Hello everyone, I’m Elton. I’m a 26 year old man. I work as a lawyer and a canoe guide, but it’s been really tough enjoying both lately. I started having neck and upper back problems in April 2020, just a few months after the pandemic started and during the midst of a horrible breakup. I've since been through the whole shebang: doctors, surgeons, PT, drugs, chiro, osteo, injections, standing desks, electric shocks, heat therapy, daily exercise, diets. Too much Google as well. A few months back, things were getting better with the neck and upper back and the party went downstairs in the lower back, hips and buttocks. Back to square one.

Right now, I’m at the very beginning of my TMS-oriented treatment. Two weeks ago, after an intense stint of googling “ischial bursitis”, I fell on Alan Gordon’s book, which led me to Dr. Sarno’s “The ‘Mindbody Prescription”. I read through it in a week. I’ve been attempting to book a consultation with his mentee, Dr. Rashbaum, but while I’m waiting I’m trying this structured program. I’ve attempted to integrate teachings from the book in my life but have had mitigated success so far, except for last weekend, where I partied for the first time in a long while, stress-free. Working at my desk is still tough though and the pain is still there.

My level of acceptance of the TMS diagnosis is somewhere between average and high, insofar as it all seems super logical to me now that I can relate to all other chronic pain sufferers who were mentioned in the book and on this website. I’ve got my hopes up as well, which increases my desire to really accept the diagnosis. I’ve been recognizing negative thoughts and doubts, however, and I know I’ll have to fight these very strongly.

I’m feeling 75% hope at this working and 25% at despair at this failing. The large number of those who’ve been cured, however, keeps me confident that this treatment is the way to go. I would never have been able to relate to any of this however if I hadn’t been scammed over and over again by the back-pain-industrial-complex, so I see some justice in what I’ve been through over the past two years, as it has led me here.