Day 3 Exercise

I always get nervous about my wrists when I exercise. It seems that even if I'm doing something that doesn't involve my wrists at all, like walking on a treadmill, that they will begin to hurt or bother me. My favorite form of exercise for the last few years has been yoga. I've had to give up Vinyasa yoga completely because the rapid movement from pose to pose and upper-body intensive work will invariably flare up my wrists. I also find this to be true with Bikram yoga to a lesser extent. If I had money, I would take tennis lessons, golf lessons (both sports I enjoy watching and following), and get back into horseback riding, which I did on and off as a child.

The last time I exercised was a few weeks ago. I did a yoga toning workout that I really enjoy, and noticed that my upper body was getting quite a bit stronger. I paid special attention to the feelings in my wrists and forearms the entire time, but I generally find that when I take the upper body poses slowly and allow my body weight to stretch out my palms, I actually experience some relief. I've had the idea that strengthening my upper body will help with my neck, shoulder, arm, wrist, and hand symptoms, but even as I felt it getting stronger it really made no significant difference other than the temporary relief the weight on (bloodflow to?) my palms and wrists provided. I do like to exercise, but I have been rather out of shape for the last few years. The excuse since I graduated from college for not staying in shape has been that I can't afford a gym membership. Now I am living with my parents for a while and am in a good situation: close to the beach, two dogs to walk every day, a bike and a skateboard, a pool in the backyard, and a treadmill in the house. Getting up the motivation to exercise every day is difficult, but I recognize the benefits of exercise and enjoy it when I do. It makes me feel great afterward, like I'm taking control of my health and my body. I am more satisfied with what I see in the mirror, even if it doesn't look much different. 'At least I exercised today. At least I'm holding back the fat.'

I have weird body issues tied into exercising. When I was in shape a few years ago I became very thin, which was both great and terrible. I looked amazing and felt amazing and felt great about myself, but that brought with it a lot of unwanted attention that I decided I was better off without. So I stopped exercising and let myself go a little bit to make myself stand out less, and gain a little privacy and personal space back when I went out in public. Now the grass is once again seeming greener on the other side, mainly because gaining some weight has brought with it the old body image issues that caused me to lose the weight in the first place.

Exercise is great for me but also brings with it old issues. I hope I can find a balance or separate the body image stuff from the desire to exercise.

 

One trait is being overly self-conscious. I never want to draw attention to myself. I always sit in the back row. I rarely ask a question... it takes so much energy to ask a question.

Welcome Cindy