Day 8 Fear, doubt, hope -- you know, the greatest hits!

So, week two is upon me and I'm feeling fairly confident, though loading groceries in the freezing wind this morning my back was "talking to me." So, I starting cursing it out. Felt a little funny, but familiar, too. I've been pissed at it for a while now. I know I just need to keep keep making connections and recognizing it as my body trying to do its job, but I'd truly like it to give up this tactic! I feel fairly confident that the back issues will subside with continued awareness, but am still a bit fearful about my vocal and neck issues. My career depends on vocal production and that has been so stressful and hit and miss. I am very much hoping that TMS awareness will help with that issue, but have some fear about it not working at the same time. Feels kind of like a crossroads moment. Also hoping I can continue with the program work as life gets a little crazy busy in the coming week. I may have to suspend the time commitment for a week until I can devote quality time to it again.... Any thought about interrupting and then continuing the program? Any vocal production stories out there..? Thanks!

 

Dankat, Isn't it interesting that TMS decided to distract you with vocal issues. That will surely keep you distracted and concerned about your career.
I would think it is best to try to continue to work the program even if it is only 20 minutes a day or every other day. Maybe, your crazy schedule
is also preventing you from looking at TMS issues. I know for me the busier I am the less time I look at my emotions, especially repressed emotions.

What are you doing as TMS program, may I ask?

 

Dankat, don't let the fear factor get you down. Keep telling yourself you're going to overcome the
vocal and neck issues. Strong positive thoughts can drive away the fear. Keep working on the
Structured Education Program. Take it a little at a time if you're busy. And keep accepting that your
symptoms are TMS from repressed emotions. More studies are proving this every day, that our
pains are not really structural but from the worry and guilt and separation anxieties and others
that we have kept hidden. Bring them out into the open and the fresh air of healing will come in.]
It happened for me and has for thousands of others.

 

Hi G.R. -- thanks so much for checking in! A friend gave me a Sarno Book, which I read, and then, ironically, my osteopath mentioned this forum, and I'm on day 8 of the structured educational program. Pretty great so far. I need to do some more organized listing, but I find the journaling leads me in very productive directions no matter what the prompt is...! And yes, the vocal stuff (as well as busy life issues) is a very convenient distraction. I'm on stage every night, so doubt, faith and fear are constantly wrestling with each other...! I do want to keep this awareness practice alive, so I will find a way to get some time in, even when busy. In two weeks, though still busy, I will have more time to myself and be able to devote more focus to the full program needs....

 

Thanks for the encouragement, Walt! I will definitely keep chipping away - my healing is going to be more of a "process" healing (as opposed to an overnight "wonder" story), so I anticipate needing the longer road, time-wise.
Thanks again for your kind words!

 

Dankat, I understand most people's healing is mostly a process. I have heard it said like this, your brain needs a chance to heal and be confident
that your brain knows how to heal. Isn't that encouraging!!!!!! Patience and love towards yourself is the key.

I have read on many posts on this forum that the improvements were so small they did not even realize they had made any. I think the major
aspect is to keep our heats and minds on what we are repressing. Keep getting that garbage out of the basement; I believe that is what Dr. Brady says.

 

Thanks, G.R. Yeah, so interesting - I did work with a therapist in my 20's about "basement" issues - and I think a part of me thought that, "Okay, that's done!" Uh huh. Time to open those windows again. And I guess to have faith that garbage clean-up will work it's magic...! Thanks again for your support!

 

And I just downloaded the Brady book - thanks for reminding me about it -- ! Something I can do on the fly when I get busy...! All the best....