Fear.

I have had TMS for two years. Over this time I have read Dr. Sarno's book many times. I fully understand TMS and fully accept I have TMS. I have however only recently started the programme on the TMS wiki. I have found the meditation helpful and at times become very emotional while journaling. Through this process I have learnt a lot about myself- for example only yesterday I realised that I am a perfectionist, all my life I have been messy so never realised but when I play sport, which I love, I don't actually enjoy it while playing because nothing I do is ever good enough etc. All of which I believe is helping me to get better from TMS. However I have today uncovered something I feel curtail in my condition- that of FEAR.

I recently posted a question asking what I feared? I have always been an anxious person and fear most things. Despite appearing 6.2 with a stocky build I have always feared silly things like social situations. I would never be able to approach a girl I didn't know and ask her out etc and I get incredibly nervous before a sports match. Recently I managed to equate this personality trait of mine to TMS from a post I found on the wiki from 2011 by 'Jordan':

"One morning I woke up and read an article that focused on fear. It hit me like a lightening bolt. All this time I kept trying to pound the concept of TMS into my mind, kept focusing on the actual concept, the repressed emotions, the anger, the rage. The thing is, our mind already has this information. We understand it, this is why after reading Sarno's book most of us feel at least some relief or at least an unfamiliar sensation. It is my belief that this is due to a reduction in FEAR. As soon as you read Sarno's book, your fear of structural abnormalities and life long pain has been significantly reduced. It is the fear that fuels TMS and supports it's perpetuation. Sure anger, rage, repressed emotions and all of these issues could have been the initial cause but without fear TMS has no gasoline left in it's tank.

Whether or not you realize it, if you still have lingering pain it is because somewhere in your mind you also have lingering fear. This fear is then causing doubt and destroying your belief in TMS. I have found that it is almost impossible to figure out what events and emotions are causing your pain and the good news is, it's not necessary. If you really ask yourself do I have fear I think you will find the answer to be true. We all fear something in our lives and TMS will utilize this fear to ignite itself. Once it ignites, it becomes a viscous cycle. Not only do your old fears exist but now you have new fears generated simply due to the symptoms of TMS.

The new focus should be on your fear and acknowledging it. Understand, that your fear is the remaining factor that is causing doubt in your mind. Doubt of the pain being psychosomatic. This fear and doubt may be more apparent to others. For me personally, I completley and wholeheartedly believed in TMS. I couldn't understand if my belief system was so strong why was my pain just as resilient. It because the fear creates doubt whether it's a large or small amount is irrelevant. Size doesn't matter. If there is even a speck, TMS is able to continue. Once I shifted all my focus to fear I worked on telling myself that there is no reason to be afraid. I would explain that fear is causing doubt and once I removed my fear my body would return back to normal. This new simple thought process completley eliminated my pain."

I have recently realised that my pain syndrome is being fuelled by the fear of it. But after watching this very beneficial video; on fear I have realised that I am not just afraid of the pain. But afraid of the change back to not having pain. I have had TMS for two years now so I have become accustomed to it. I had a lot of psychological problems before the syndrome and I wonder if I fear returning to them.

I guess I have to accept that I can't live my life in fear either way. I can't fear the actual pain because that is fuelling the pain itself. So without the fear there would be no pain. And I can't fear not having the pain because that is holding me back in life. I must think that I am a stronger person now and can deal with my emotions. and that I am in control of my life. When I think rationally like this I no longer fear TMS or not having TMS. For I am in control.

(on a separate note, back before I really knew I had TMS my pain used to temporally get better when I watched motivational videos on youtube about not having fear and being a champion etc. Proof that fear is fuelling my TMS!!)

If anyone has any tips to tackle my fear please let me know. For the time being I am going to take "Jordans" advice and acknowledge that my fear is causing my TMS to remain, once I know no longer fear it the pain will go. That I will be happier without TMS. TMS is harmless. And I will get better.


Yours sincerely,

Robert Hodgson, age 20, England UK

 

An awesome post Robert Hodgson. I am going to give you a cool post by a friend of all of ours here at tms wiki. It will help a lot. Bless you.


Many people suffered from tms/anxiety for years and years because they couldn't accept Dr. Sarno and Dr. Weekes' teaching. Many, even after they found Sarno and Weekes, they still couldn't heal themselves.
Dr. Weekes very clearly stated that Fear of your symptoms is what keep us sick with MBS. If you analyze Dr. Sarno's teaching, he pretty much say the same thing. He theorize that we unconsciously created symptoms to distract our mind from the pain that come from some strong, negative, and unconscious emotions. If you think about it, the symptoms can only distract you if it can hold your attention and your symptoms can only hold your attention if you fear it or worry about it. We human have a very high tolerance to pain. Most of the tms pain or discomfort don't bother us much, it is the fear of what could happen, the fear of the unknown, or the fear of some thing terrible will happen that can hold our attention. If somehow we can get rid of our fear of the symptoms, the symptoms loose it's power to hold our attention then it loose it's purpose, it will just cease to exist. If you can keep up the good work you have done: "NO FEAR", in time, all of you symptoms will disappear.
Dr. Weekes' thinking is a little different than Dr. Sarno. She didn't think anything happened years ago in our past can trigger symptoms in our body. She think stress, chronic stress or traumatic events is what trigger the symptoms, then our fear of the symptoms took over and keep the symptoms alive. I believe her and I cured myself of all MBS I ever had, and I had ton of them. If you love your body, if you confidence of your body and your mind, if your thoughts are more positive than negative... you can not get MBS.
we all don't like pain, but you have to realize the different between tms pain and normal physical injury pain. Broken leg, nasty cut, hit your head falling down the stair, dog bite, tooth cavity... real physical pain hurt but the different between them tms pain is they don't produce FEAR. They hurt, they bother us, the pain may be too intense to sleep, too painful to move... yet we don't fear them, because we know exactly what they are, what caused them, and they WILL heal.
TMS pain caused fear. We don't exactly know what caused them, we have lots of doubt, we affraid the pain is a sign of something very wrong, we affraid it will turn into something worst, something permanent, something incurable... that fear of what is going to happen is what keep them alive.
Keep analyze the teaching of all these tms teachers and you will find the confidence to stop your fear. They pretty much preaching the same thing: "no fear", don't worry about our health, don't focus too much on ourselves, go out and get a life...
- "Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood." Marie Curie.
- "Fear cannot take what you do not give it." Christopher Coan.
- "Fear is static that prevents me from hearing myself." Samuel Butler. (maybe he had tinnitus?)
- "Fear makes the wolf bigger than he is." German Proverb.
- "If a man harbors any sort of fear, it percolates through all thinking, damages his personality and makes him a landlord to a ghost." Lloyd Douglas.
- "He who fears something gives it power over him." Moorish Proverb.
- "He who fears to suffer, suffers from fear." French Proverb.
Exposure therapy is also very important. Keep doing what you fear. Do it longer and longer each day. Mentally prepare yourself before doing it. Tell your mind that you will feel pain or discomfort but that is OK, it shall past. Going through tunnels and high bridges trigger panic attack in me. I kept driving through them. I ask a trusted friend to go with me at first "just in case"... slowly and slowly the panic just leave me and now I actually enjoy going over high bridges and tunnels. Be persistent and PATIENCE. Never allow time to scare you back into sickness. It take a long time to think yourself sick, it will take sometime to think yourself well. We all heal at a difference pace.
The 10% you've talked about could all be "conditioning". The bridge and the tunnels are my "conditioning" trigger. Going to party, meeting someone I dislike, dark sky, coffee.... and many many more are my triggers. You have to figure out what is your trigger and deal with it. Deal with them compassionately, deal with them patiently, deal with them confidently,... no fear, no discourage, no hurry... and they will all pass.

And also listen to these Audios by Claire Weekes. She will help you understand and clear up the Fear issue




These audio recordings of Claire Weekes have gotten me through a lot


Part 1

http://www.junior-anxiety-depression-exchange.org.uk/media/relaxation2/How-To-Recover1.mp3

Part 2

http://www.junior-anxiety-depression-exchange.org.uk/media/relaxation2/How-To-Recover2.mp3

Part 3

http://www.junior-anxiety-depression-exchange.org.uk/media/relaxation2/How-To-Recover3.mp3

Part 4

http://www.junior-anxiety-depression-exchange.org.uk/media/relaxation2/How-To-Recover4.mp3