Feeling lost/scared

Hello I am new to this forum. A quick introduction to me: I am 24 years old and have been a very anxious person all my life, but have been able to prevail on many occasions over my fears (driving, interviewing for a job, going back to school). Although, just recently, I finally finished my prerequisites and got into a program in early January! It is a new program and I am the first cohort. I was honestly terrified to be in it and had many doubts about if I should stay in the program or leave and disappoint my loved ones. All while this immense stress was occurring I got a UTI. GREAT! I received antibiotics for it and realized there was one lingering symptom and that was mild burning on my vulva. I have been tested for STDs, BV, UTI, yeast infection and everything was negative. I’ve spent so much money on probiotic supplements thinking my flora was off. I obsessed over what it could’ve been (Vulvodynia, IC, PFD, etc), until I realized that when I was distracted, like at school for example, I didn’t feel any of the symptoms. Only when I got home and at night when I was alone with my thoughts. I learned about neuroplastic pain and how our brain can create these pathways due to chronic stress/trauma. Boom, it all made sense. Unfortunately, this is just recent that I learned about this and am trying to learn how to deal with TMS. I know there are many of us who deal with similar situations, but I can’t help but feel alone in this. I try not to catastrophically think about my situation because it flares up my symptom. Currently, I am still in the same program that catalyzed this syndrome and I don’t want to give into my anxiety and leave. I want to fight against this and get through my program, but fearful I might drown. How do you continue to push through your fears when you can’t run away from them?

 

Hello @itszoeee and welcome

“How do you continue to push through your fears when you can’t run away from them?”

what an excellent question, and an excellent introduction!

There’s a great book by Claire Weekes called Hope And Help For Your Nerves that deals with anxiety and fear. It will explain action steps to take to help your anxiety.
You don’t want to “push” through your fear, because it can create a lot of self-pressure. You accept the fear, as you are doing and allow yourself to actually feel the physical sensations of fear without freaking out or being more afraid. Begin to get friendly with the sweaty palms, desire to remove yourself or avoid the thing that you fear, the flushed face.. and just let those things happen. It’s really uncomfortable but the things you fear aren’t imminent threats, so the sensations will pass. In the TMS world this is often described as creating safety. Unless there’s imminent physical threat, you are safe. Thoughts, ruminations, worries are just the brain working. Thoughts are not truth, just thoughts they come and go. Fear is just a sensation (in this case) and it will come and go. Right now you are hanging on to it, like you hang on to the sensations of your symptoms. Your fear is really just another symptom.
Claire Weekes instructs us to float through these fear or anxious thought. Let them pass by like clouds in the sky: meaning don’t get involved in them. It takes practice, but once you get the hang of it, it’s amazingly comforting and empowering to see how much control you can have over your reaction to the thoughts.

 

Hi, @itszoeee, and welcome to the forum. I'm new here as well.
I've had anxiety most of my life At a time when it became really, really bad I found a program by a woman named Lucinda Bassett called Attacking Anxiety and Depression. Itcomes with podcasts and a workbook. I found it extremely helpful.

 

I did that program too! it really helped me! Right now I swear by all of Claire Weekes’ books. She is amazing! I listen to one of her books or read a little portion every day.

 

Hi!
I’ve had severe anxiety my entire life and it’s really been hard to do anything. But somehow, I managed to do some fairly big things that I didn’t back down on. I think out of sheer stubbornness and determination. I didn’t want my life to be ruined by this anxiety so I would walk through it. If you want something bad enough, you just live with how hard it is at first and force yourself step-by-step to continue on your path and not let your life get robbed from you. After you get over the initial hurdle, things always die down and get easier if you just hang in there.

 

If you haven't yet, I recommend the Structured Educational Program offered for free here. It was the first thing I did when I learned about TMS and neuroplastic pain.

 

Hi @itszoeee. How is your week going?