Alex B. fibromyalgia and anger

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Question

Hello,

I'm inquiring for insight into my pain.

I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I have every kind of pain. Muscle, joint (no swelling), tendon pain, burning pain, aching pain, and tender to touch pain. I also experience tingling and stinging pain all over the place along with muscle spasms and itching. My pain is always moving around. I've noticed that anytime I have strong emotions I get more pain, especially burning pain. All my pain started after suppressing major anger towards my mom after experiencing rejection from her. I consciously decided that I did not want to be vulnerable anymore and stuffed so much anger towards my self and parents inside. One month following this I began to experience knee pain which gradually developed into widespread pain and paresthesias. This pain dramatically increased after being further stressed by doctors who did not believe me. My X-rays of my knees and back were normal not even any arthritis. All my blood work came back normal. It was then I recieved a fibro diagnosis. I also have a history of generalized anxiety, depression, mild carpal tunnel syndrome, mild plantar fasciitis, mild TMJ, insomnia and muscle spasms. I just very recently learned of TMS so I am not certain if that is what is going on. Furthermore, I read Dr. Sarno's book "Mindbody Prescription" and I fit the TMS personality to a "T." I would appreciate assistance with this. Also what should I do next? I am overwhelmed with all the information here.

 

Answer

Hi there, thanks for posting!

What you are describing sounds like a very clear case of TMS. Almost every aspect of your symptoms, as well as what you describe about your feelings and relationships, are factors that give rise to it. To cap it off, you have begun to familiarize yourself with the concept and find that you fit the profile perfectly. While this can be overwhelming, it's good news! It means that you have a framework for understanding what is going on and a way to effectively approach it. So I'm glad you're here.

There is a ton of info and sorting through it all can seem daunting, I know. The first and most important thing for you to do is to begin to address the fear and anxiety that your symptoms are generating. By seeing that what you are dealing with is not in fact structural, you can begin to give yourself a break from the worry that your pain puts on you. By changing your relationship with your symptoms, so that you begin to see them not as markers of physical damage but as a guide that can show you the way towards a more complete understanding of yourself and your needs, the pain will lose it's capacity to terrify you.

I would recommend that you start with the TMS Recovery Program created by my colleague Alan Gordon. It will help you to understand TMS and how you can engage with it not from a place of pressure and fear, but from a loving and compassionate stance. Overcoming TMS is all about taking care of yourself and I think the Recovery Program gives some good insight into how you can begin to do that.

Take it slow and try not to rush yourself to read everything and absorb all that is here. I know you want to feel better, and you certainly can, but pressuring yourself to smash through is not the way to get there. Step-by-step, day-by-day is the way to go. If you find that the resources here are not enough, I recommend reaching out to one of the TMS Therapists who posts on the site. Having someone to guide you through the process can be very helpful as you work to understand your specific relationship to TMS.

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