Day 10 Finding what hurt you, no judgEment, letting go

Today make a brief forum post about how you are doing with the treatment:

I am doing better....well it's a lot of work. I've never cried so much in my life. When I am writing I say ok feel it all (the Feist song comes into my head lol) and I just let go and cry and I get into it and I yell and scream and ball and tell myself to feel the pain, the experience, the person that hurt me, the beliefs I had abou myself: unworthy, evil, not enough, and I cry and cry for all the years I couldn't. This seems to be working for me but it is scary for people who are should people and perfectionist because you are letting good control. I have no need for control anymore I say to myself. At this moment in time I am going to deal with this and I want to move on so I will. I think when you write you have to just release no go there. Even if you think your fathering constantly telling you to be quiet as a child is stupid and you shouldn't feel sad about it - you should feel sad because it hurt you. Rationality does not work here in this process. To feel it, like hating the heterosexual white male world we live in and how you got fucked up by it, and you were made to feel worthless or evil because you are not that, when you admit it hurt you, makes you angry and etc.. You let it go because when you are that vulnerable you can change your subconscious mind and that's when I calm down and say I don't believe this anymore, I choose to be happy and I choose to move forward accepting life as it is and working to make it better. Working to make yourself healthier, more mindful and more happy for the things you've got. Love youself through this process. I am

 

Otterman,

Awesome post! Great job of self understanding and compassion for yourself.

Thanks,

Susan

 

Glad to hear of all the releasing you are doing. It brings relief and healing.

I think people overlook that things said to a child by a father (or mother or anyone in authority) can be hurtful--but indeed it can be!
Your post reminds me of one of Louise Hay's favorite affirmations: I love and accept myself exactly as I am!

 

I like what you said about loving your self through the process. So important. thank you

 

I used her affirmations when i was near suicide from my depression and chronic pain. Now i've branched off into Buddhism and yoga, meditation, but still use her daily affirmations on her website. Sometimes i wish i could flip how i see things. Just look at things from the positive perspective. I can do it sometimes but not all the time. Anyway love.