First Day

I am "P's twin." I chose that user name because of all the identities I have (someone's wife, someone's mother, etc) I've had that one the longest and it has undoubtedly been the most influential in my life. We both think we are special gifts to one another and treasure each other.

Although my father died when I was 8 and I've faced challenges in my life, I think that I've had a good life but I've always felt that something was missing, a spiritual connection I haven't been able to make, so I keep searching for it.

I picked up a book in mychurch library called The Untethered Soul,which lead me to look up "Breathing" in a book by Andrew Weil, which mentioned John Sarno, so I "goggled" him and did some reading and here I am. TMS sounds like me (any my twin)! I can't say I have quite committed to the diagnosis yet, but I did get The Divided Mind out of the library and I ordered another Sarno book to keep. I figure I have nothing to lose by following this path as far as I can. It is better than taking drugs for reflux, depression, and thyroid disease; using a night guard to prevent teeth-grinding; and contemplating knee replacement surgery. It is hard to believe that everything that is wrong with me is TMS because I am almost 64 and nothing lasts forever, but too many of my problems seem to fit TMS perfectly to discount the diagnosis. Anyway, I am going for it and would appreciate your support.

 

Hi P's Twin,
You have my support! Congratulations for reaching out and posting your post, and also for being open to exploring TMS. I started my journey by reading Sarno, then found this wiki, and then began the Structured Educational Program. I encourage you to explore the wiki and consider the SEP - there is so much helpful and transformative information there. You will, if you have not already, read about the importance of accepting the diagnosis. Many of us have or continue to struggle with that. A helpful tool that you could try is keeping an "Evidence List" - essentially list every reason why which symptoms you have are TMS. For example, if you have inconsistencies in pain that coincide with stressors in your life, that would point toward TMS. Of course, it is important to rule out medical problems with a doctor; but, you can do a lot of exploring yourself, too. I cannot tell you which of your symptoms are or are not TMS, but you can figure this out from your own evidence list, from consulting your doctor, and by also listening to your own internal wisdom! You are embarking on a fascinating journey! Best wishes, Sunny

 

Thanks for your encouragement. I appreciate the suggestion about keeping an Evidence List to help separate the TMS symptoms from the ones that really are organic. I plan to do a lot more exploration of the wiki, especially the success stories as well as do the SEP. As it happens, I am entering a period of my life that is guaranteed to include stressors (husband's surgery, brother's surgery, sister away for a month to help with family out-of-town) but just having found about about TMS is helping me handle the stress about the upcoming stressors. Right now I feel like the healthiest one in the family--sad for them but empowering for me.

 

Hi, P's twin. You are having emotional stresses because of all the family stuff going on, but it's good you recognize that because that's how we heal.
Do what you can to help your husband and brother, but don't put their health on your shoulders. You and your sister sound like very caring people.
That can cause feelings of strong responsibility and if you are a perfectionist or "goodist" who worries about helping others and being liked by everyone, that causes TMS and pain. Do what you can for your loved ones, but remember that asking God to help them is a good thing. He said, "ask and you shall receive." Ask for their recovery and your own peace, and it will be granted to you. God bless.

 

Thanks, Walt. I wrote the book on "goodism" and my middle name is "caregiver." But I am taking in all that I am reading from the Sarno books, this wiki site, and supporters like you to start taking care of myself first. The more I find out about TMS the more I see myself in the diagnosis. Your support means a lot to me.

 

P's twin.
Nice to meet you. I am new here too. .........a fantastic book on TMS is called THE GREAT PAIN DECEPTION (HOW FAULTY MEDICAL ADVICE IS MAKING US WORSE). It is full of insights and also goes into more detail about some of the symptoms you have, called TMS EQUIVALENTS. (Like reflux) they serve the same purpose of pain and that is to distract, preoccupy and add fear to keep you from attending to your emotional issues.
You are on the right track and in the right place to heal.

 

Thanks, Grateful. Funny, I have a lot of TMS equivalents but not lower back pain! I was about to add "yet" but that is negative thinking. My focus is on getting rid of the equivalents by accepting the diagnosis and not on adding another to them.

Walt, I just spent some time reading parts of your book (I searched your name and clicked on the "5 Chapters" link.) One of my concerns has been that some of my issues might actually be organic and how can I tell them apart from the TMS ones. For example, my knee really is bone-on-bone in the x-ray so is that pain TMS or not? But if you are 82 and can accept that your pain is all TMS I should be able to do that too. I'm going to try assuming everything is TMS and see what happens. Knee replacement will still be out there if I ever really do need it.