First time posting

i have been researching TMS after battling severe anxiety for the past 5 months. I noticed that I had pain during episodes of high anxiety. My right arm hurt so I went to an orthos Dr. MRI showed to tears or structural problems and PT didn’t help. The official diagnosis was rotator cuff tendinitis. Then I noticed my thoracic spine hurt. I had an MRI 2.5 years ago with a diagnosis of disc narrowing. Then my neck, shoulder blades, shoulders, sternum and left rib cage began to hurt. The pain moves around. The only constant was my original arm pain. I have now noticed a lump in The throat feeling and a punch in the gut feeling. I have had 2 full blood panels done and everything was normal with the exception of low vitamin D. I had a colonoscopy 2.5 years ago and all was normal. I do live with fear and health anxiety. Everything I read and hear about TMS via podcasts and you tube describes me. Every new symptom scares me and I can feel the tension build. I have read Dr Sarnos first book, How to Heal Back Pain. I have also worked with a therapist and have faced so many suppressed emotions over the past 5 months. It is easy for me to feel sadness, guilt and even some self loathing. I cannot tap into anger. I journal everyday and since starting that I’m feeling the pain more. Is it common for the lump in the throat and punch in the gut feeling? It’s not painful but worrisome. Also is there any other work I can do

 

That's called 'plum pit' or something like that in Chinese medicine and has been around for centuries of anxiety sufferers...(bound-up qi feels like a plum pit ion your throat)

There is a great program called the SEP on this forum with a lot of challenging questions for yourself and work stuff to self-teach yourself about yourself

https://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/Structured_Educational_Program (Structured Educational Program)

You sure sound like us. welcome!

 

Welcome! I’ve been doing Sarno recovery for many years. The anger comes when it’s darn good and ready. It’ll come. Be content with whatever feelings arise...
Good folks here. Trust the process. The body is an amazing guide.
Best wishes!!

 

That's good to know that the anger comes when it's "darn good and ready". I'm feeling all the other emotions except that anger...I understand that it's not so important to identify the emotions; just to feel it. Some of the emotions are on the surface, and I have no idea what they are; only the sadness is recognizable. I think the reason I can't get to the anger emotions is because I think it is from my husband and kids, and I don't like to have any bad thoughts about them because I love them all so much (and I know they love me).

 

I believe this line reflects a primary reason for your TMS--conflicted emotions. We repress emotions we think we shouldn't be having. We believe it is wrong to be angry at our loved ones. But we are human and love is messy sometimes. Learning to live with the knowledge that it is OK to experience the full range of emotions is a big part of TMS recovery.

Wishing you the best on your recovery journey......

 

And Sarno states in Divided Mind that our unconscious may never reveal the full feelings of rage but we can recover anyway. A relief to remember!

 

Thank you!

 

That's good to know. I'm really trying to feel those emotions. I actually feel myself discarding and repressing my emotions when things happen day to day and then I catch myself and feel them as much as I can. Really takes practice because I was repressing for so long; maybe my whole life.

 

I been practicing and excepting / feelings emotions for over 5 yrs and have not got any closer to relief ... I feel there is to much weight put on this practice in my experience... if there is any relief I got it was accepting where I am at this point and trying to live the best I can .

 

I had a situation last week. My husband made me pretty angry, and I felt the emotion and told him why I was angry. But then I felt guilty and sad that I did that because he's a good person usually. At that point, I really understood what this TMS is about. I have to allow myself to feel that anger, get it out and then let it all pass and not hold onto it. I'm working on this now with any emotion. I have so many things I can apply this to; past, present and future...

 

Congratulations, Goldy. You really understand Ellen's sage and succinct advice. Some time ago Ellen mentioned having read a book by Drs. Allan Abbass and Howard Schubiner titled Hidden from View. The purpose of their book is to educate physicians about how to treat patients with TMS (which they call PPD as short for Psychophysiologic Disorders). I just want to add something from their book that I think is pertinent regarding your comment that you felt guilty and sad for being angry at your husband because he is really a good person (by the way I am not a physician). On page 129, they wrote:

"As noted above, guilt about rage [i.e., anger] is a central agent producing PPD. . . . [H]elp your patients recognize and feel guilt about any rage toward [current] loved ones or others in the past. When they are able to do that, the anger turned inward is defused and the symptoms resolve. . . .It is critical to help them access loving and forgiving feelings towards themselves both related to the past and current times. In addition, they are usually able to feel loving feelings towards people for whom they have buried rage in the past. This process is akin to forgiveness for oneself and also forgiveness of the other person to whatever degree is appropriate."
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Along the same vein, Abbass said in a video interview elsewhere on this tmswiki website: "Emotions that can be helpful are self-acceptance, positive regard for oneself and for other people, and forgiveness for oneself and other people. So it involves getting back to basic love and attachment for others." I believe you are well on the way down that path and will have great success dealing with your TMS.

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Thank you! It's good to know that I dealt with my emotions successfully. So what you are saying is that I was doing the right thing feeling guilty and sad after I was angry? I get so confused with these emotions. Most of the time I don't feel the emotions or can't identify them as they just lie on the surface...