Day 8 First Week Benchmark

This is my first week benchmark of going through the SEP (in reality it's been 3 weeks but whatever). I find myself believing in TMS more and more everyday and I am starting to notice (a little) less pain. The biggest change for me is that I'm starting to not care about what I do, as if I'll make it worse. Like if I come home from work and sit on the couch too long will that make me more painful and set up a bad tomorrow? Maybe, but a little extra pain isn't the worst thing in the world, been there done that.

The hardest part I still struggle with is how to cope with TMS when I am in a pain episode. My confidence surges when I come home from yoga feeling like a million bucks but plunges down to thoughts of surgeries when my back is howling from sitting/standing too long. I go to those thoughts less than I did when i first started TMS recovery, but it still happens, and I have to constantly steer my mind away. It's frustrating as humans that we seek immediate results and patterned gradual improvement, but recovery isn't like that. It's a battle that you have to fight with the unconscious at all times until it finally bows down in defeat.

In terms of how my activity levels are I'm a lot more active. As stated above I returned to yoga and my pain didn't sky rocket like i thought it would. Sometimes it just hurts a little extra sometimes after, but nothing to panic about. I'm doing a lot more social events on the weekends, which is great since previously I would just lay on the couch resting. I even plan to return to hiking and the gym in 1 week and start my road back to my biggest stress relievers. Overall I am improving even if my dumb mind doesn't want to see it that way.

 

You are clearly already improving. It's hard to believe deep inside but you being more active and less fearfull is an important step. Good luck.