Day 10 "Freezing up" and shame

Hello!
My problem has been, (and is, but much less now), that I tend to "freeze up" when an emotion want to come up. Earlier when I was more afraid of it, it was like it got too much and I had to hide away from all "inputs" (peoples, internet, radio..) because it was so much pressure inside me. Anyone else who has experienced this? Now I can more easily relax, because I have the TMS knowledge. I see that I have a lot of anger and the feeling of betrayal inside of me.

Sometimes I could not find the emotion, just felt very bad, but now I have recognized the emotion shame, and it is so much easier to handle. Read that shame kind of "floods" you and your cognitive functions, and that your ability to take action is drastically reduced. Now I know why I have had difficulty with standing up for myself and my needs, because I was kind of paralyzed with shame. Anyone else?

Much love to all of you!

 

Hi Durga

Thanks so much for your post! Today I'm at Day 10 and I feel exactly the same as you. I always freezed when an emotion wanted to appear, now it's getting better. And I totally relate to the emotion of shame. I guess it's my underlying emotion. How do you handle it? That's the most difficult part for me now. I know that shame is underneath almost everything but I don't know why and where to go with it.

 

Thank you for your answer, Aliena! I am not sure how to handle it quite yet. Work in progress..! But when I started to recognize my repressed rage after reading Sarno`s book, I felt that the shame kind of shifted to that rage. It goes hand in hand, I think? Let`s update each other in our parallell process!
Much love,
Durga

 

Durga,

I have been journalling and engaging in a round of deeper healing and shame surfaced (again) and so I am dealing with this unpleasant emotional legacy. Your comment has stayed in my mind and so I thought of you and wondered if this recommendation would be of interest.

Have you read the book "Radical Acceptance - Awakening the Love that Heals Fear and Shame" by Tara Brach. I have the audio and feel it is time to immerse myself in her wisdom.

Plum x

 

Have you ever done tapping or EFT? I just finished tapping along with Brad Yates on YouTube. If you type in his name and guilt and shame, he has a great video. Just tap where he taps and repeat what he says. While I was tapping, it brought up another shameful incident for me. Another one that I had forgotten about. But I know the more that I watch the video and tap with it, the faster I could clear it. I save my favorites so I can go back to them every day. He has a really good one on loving yourself as well.
I just got Dr. Sarno’s book yesterday. I’m a newbie. I’ve only found TMS less than a week ago. But I know how badly emotions wreak havoc on your body. I guess we have the bodies to prove it.
I hope this helps

 

Do you mean like freezing mentally or physically stopping in your tracks. The nervous system has Fight Flight and Freeze. I'm curious if you meant it in that sense. You can google polyvagal theory diagram and see how experts in the field have charted our 3 responses of the nervous system. When we come out of freeze we often can experience heavy emotions. If we suppress the emotions we move back into one of the three states. I noticed that as I felt my emotions more and more days later I would feel better. You have to feel your way back to normalcy. It never feels good in the moment. Shame often comes as a result of others putting it on us.

I have had a similar experience. Under my shame is anger, under the anger is sadness at times. We have to heal the old wounds and restructure our old beliefs and allow ourselves to feel love, happiness and realize we deserve those things.