From depression in 2019 to be full for excitment, energy and plans for 2020

My low back pain story, and how I found dr Sarno's work.

In the beginning of 2019 I was having 1,5 year of lowback pain behind me and no more idea how can I get rid of it. But hope dies the last, so for next 6 months I was still looking for help from doctors and physioterapists. Finally I gave up.
I was in a such a bad psychical shape that I hadn't really seen a reason to live. I had depression and anxiety attacks.
Then it somehow came to my mind that all this pain makes no sense. It is not adequate to my physical condition, and gets worse and worse although I am really careful with my spine, do exercises, avoid sitting etc. Not only my low back was in pain, but my whole back was tight snd stiff, my neck was hurting as well. Each morning after I woke up pain washed over whole surface of my back - It was right under my skin. It came into my mind that this was an absurd! Other people have much more serious health problems but they are still willing to live!
It was June when I started to google and I came across dr Sarno's book. I have read "Healing the Back Pain" first. My neck pain left me the next day after reading the book. Low back was still bad, but my journey began.

My journey through TMS.

I have read other dr Sarno books: "The Mindbody Prescription", "The divided mind" and also Steve Ozanich books "The great pain deception" and "Back pain permanent healing". The last one I was listening as an audio book several times - it helped me to reprogram my mind and get into right track during bad moments.
Through dr Sarno's books I came into tmswiki.org forum and here I found all I needed to go through TMS. My journey took half year but today I can say I've done it.
I live almost without pain: from being in pain and depression 24h per day, today I do not even think about it for most of the time. I still have some conditioned pain between 3PM and 5PM every day, and some stiffness in my back, but it ceasing each week, so I really do not care about it.
I do everything what I stopped doing because of pain and even more: I run, dance, ride a bike, do gardening. I learned to say "no" to what I do not want and "yes" to what I want. I learned what self-compassion is, to set boundaries and how to rest and relax. I am happy again, I have plans for future and I enjoy my every day.

I cannot say enough how much grateful I am to you!!

Today is the last day of 2019, and in this moment I want to say that my transition could happen thanks to help of people in this lovely tmswiki.org forum!! You were keeping my hand in the worst moments helping me to go through this.
Thank you @JanAtheCPA for encouraging me to start this journey and go through it especially though difficult beginning when I really haven't understand yet what is it all about. @plum - I really followed your advice to relax more and bring more joy to my live. This was a breakthrough as I let some light into my live. @Baseball65 - thanks for great practical advices especially on how to deal with conditioned responses. @HattieNC - you teached me to set boundaries and have more self-care which gave a great result. Thank you @ThanksToSarno for showing me how to go with back stiffness and enjoy streching. @DanBuglio - your videos were really helping me to get rid of doubts around TMS and move forward.
I am not able to mention everyone, but really great great thank you!! Your work here makes so much difference! Your help, your compassion, your love - really saves people's lives!!

Ania

 

@Ania,

I’m delighted by this post. The joy is tangible and such spirit sparks yet more joy in the reader. Thank you for taking the time to post this at the years end, hopefully it’ll inspire others to commit to their healing with more faith.

Blessings and Love,

Plum x

 

Ania,

I am so very happy for you and the inspiration your story will provide to others. If you could see me right now, you'd see that I'm doing a happy dance in my office. Looking forward to an update about your 2020 adventures!

 

Hi Ania,

Congratulations on your inner work. I love what you got from the members here.

This one jumps out at me. What a wonderful guidance!!!

Good luck in your continuing journeys.
Andy