Fuck you tms :(

I was doing so well
The pain in my pubic bone, back and coccys was actually getting better
Slowly but it wasn’t agony like before
Life was changing
Then
Wham
My vulva starts feeling swollen and abit sore
Now this is where my chronic pain journey began
It’s incredibly traumatic to remember this pain
It’s such a familiar feeling
It only went when I had my babies (and was replaced by back etc)
50% of the time I can tell myself it’s tms
It’s angry at me for winning and it’s using an old pathway to distract me
But the other part of me is telling myself it’s because I’m doing so much more activity and wearing pants again sometimes that it’s creating the swelling and pain down below!
I’m sat here crying
This might be the thing that wins
It’s the memories of how this pain changed my life and it just keeps haunting me
And I’m panicked, scared and I feel sick to my stomach

Is this tms? Can it cause a sensation of swelling or just ‘noticing it’ constantly on my mind and it hasn’t been for nearly two years

I don’t know what to do! Feeing myself trying to rest and lie down because I was once told it was gravity causing the swelling and uncompfortable feeling down below

Has anyone been through something similar! ?

 

Sounds like TMS to me. I can really sympathize. It’s doing exactly what it’s purpose is: to scare the crap out of you. Recognizing that is so important. It would like you to think everything you’ve learned should be tossed out the window, but don’t buy it! When this has happened to me I’ve been surprised how short term the flare up was. Don’t let it scare you. You are getting better.

 

Thankyou for replying
It must be tms
It can’t be a coincidence that my other pain has reduced by 90% and then this starts
It hurts more then when I gave birth and I have not done anything more traumatic to the area in the last 3 days
It’s trying to scare me
It’s trying to frighten me (it’s almost winning)
But I need to keep doing everything I’ve been doing and have faith
I know my body can feel no pain down there, it hasn’t for two years so it’s not hard wired
Things can and will change
(Can you tell I’m still trying to convince myself) haha

 

Yes, and your words are good. Even if they feel like you're having to convince yourself.

You might also acknowledge some parts of your experience and combine with positivity. Something like: "Although I feel some difficult sensations, I know there is nothing really wrong with me." Or "I'm moving ahead in my life, even if there are symptoms, because I know that's what I need." Or to yourself: "You're a little frightened sometimes. That's OK. That does not mean there is anything wrong."

Experiment, and judge the results by the way the statements feel in your body/feeling sense. Don't expect quick symptom relief. Just deepen your satisfaction with with the action of being real and reassuring.

 

Thanks for replying
Will try that suggestion

I even had a thought earlier that I wish I hadn’t started as the other pain was awful but this pain is mentally taking me back and it’s just horrific
The memories of that time and I feel like I’m back at that place
But I need to tell myself it’s tms and if the other pain can feel better then this pain can feel better too!
Ah this shit is hard!!

 

I LOve your attitude in the headliner on this thread. I actually have used that as a mantra before to great effect.

We all know TMS loves to move around, back and forth. The other thing to 'check' is; what kind of changes happened just preceding the shift? Sometimes it really is just symptom imperative tango, but sometimes there is something that snuck under our radar to add a finger on the rage balance scale... and it can be very subtle.

 

Haha I often find myself telling my pain to F off!!!

Well the only thing I can think of is we went shopping and I bought some jeans (haven’t been able to wear them for years and years)
I was so excited but also a bit nervous and out of my comfort zone
So I think maybe the pressure of that and the fact I think I was starting to win against tms it decided to go to the worst place it could go to
Really trying to keep positive and tell myself it will go but this just feels so set in stone as I had this same sensation/pain for soooo many years and only childbirth made it go away
It’s such a headfuck
Was telling my partner that if the pain had moved to my elbow I would be laughing at it
But this has knocked me for six