Day 1 Getting Started

Write a short post about the level of acceptance you have of the TMS diagnosis, and of any doubts or worries you may have at this point

Well, this is Day 1 of the Structured Education Program. I've been struggling with lower back problems for 1.5 years. It first started as piriformis syndrome affecting my right glute. I thought that I simply overdid it will running and visited my physical therapist. Well, the pain just kept coming no matter how often I visited my PT and how diligent I was with my rehab exercises. The pain persisted through a fall, a long ski season, and the next spring. When the weather warmed up, I was still in pain but eager to start running again.

I found that I was still in considerable pain and visited my PT after a few failed attempts at jogging. I started working on even more rehab exercises with no luck. Oddly enough, I went on a few backcountry ski trips May-July with no issues. I remember having some pain, but it gradually wore off. Each time I did one of these trips, I had pretty much no pain for a week until it gradually came back.

This progressed throughout the summer into IT band syndrome and a terrible case of sciatica. The acute pain resolved after a few weeks, but I continued to struggle with pain until I joined a dojo and started taking self defense classes. Oddly enough, I made great progress once I started these classes. I found myself doing crossfit and kickboxing each week as well. The pain persisted, but was no where near as bad as it had once been.

At one point, my right glute felt totally healed, but guess what? That very same week, I noticed the same pain on my left side!

Fast forward to this past month. No pain on the right side, but the left side is still bugging me. It's funny, I go to the gym Tuesdays and Thursday and feel great afterward. However, if I don't go to the gym on Saturday, my pain comes back by Monday. This is the cycle I've been stuck in.

I read the Healing Back Pain book a few weeks ago and noticed an immediate improvement in my symptoms as soon as I started reading it. For a few weeks, my back felt really good! But, the pain is back and I'm desperate to end this once and for all!

So, what's my level of acceptance? After I read the book a few weeks ago, I think I have about 85% acceptance in this diagnosis. Unfortunately, I shared my feelings about this with my boyfriend and he was totally skeptical of the entire concept. Maybe that's what my pain has come back? I now feel less sure about this whole thing, so may 65% acceptance?

It's frustrating that I don't really have any support in this. Looking back, the diagnosis makes sense. 3 years ago, I came down with plantar fasciitis in both feet and ended up with Achilles tendinitis as well. I didn't have any success with the treatments for 9 months! It wasn't until I found a PT who motivated me to start running that I started healing and it took another year to get rid of the pain completely. The summer that my feet healed, I started running regularly, and once I had almost reached my goal of 13 miles, I developed this glute/SI Joint/Lower back issues.

So I guess I'm worried that when this issue finally heals, some other health problem will arise. I just keep thinking, "OK, what's next?" I'm totally dedicated to leveling up in kickboxing and Krav Maga and now I'm afraid I'll develop and injury that forces me to stop practices, just like how my current injury made me stop running.

Anyway, I did go for a jog today. My left glute is pretty mad at me right now but I just keep telling my brain to knock it off!