Getting Very Discouraged - Need Advise Please

I can no longer walk without the aid of a cane and at times resort to using a walker - my hips and legs are so weak they feel like matchsticks about to break. If I use just my cane, I 'hop' along and reach for support from a counter or chair. I thought perhaps I has having an 'extinction burst' as a result of extensive journaling and uncovering buried emotions, but this crippling condition has gone on for just over 3 month.
It is not so much pain that I feel when I try and walk, but stiffness and a dull, deep ache when I sit or lay down.
Anyone have advise please?

 

SusieQ,

Besides journaling, what TMS healing techniques are you using? If we know what you've tried and are currently doing, we can tailor our advice.

It may be helpful to watch the John Stossell 20/20 segment on TMS, if you haven't already watched it. There is a segment on a woman who was using a motorized chair to get around before she discovered Sarno and TMS, and completely recovered. It's a powerful success story that you may find inspirational.

Hang in there. TMS recovery takes patience, persistence, and courage. You are on the right path.

 

Than you for your reply Ellen.
In addition to journaling, I worked through Chapter 5 from "Unlearn Your Pain" and dug into some deep hidden emotions and family characteristics from childhood. It was at this point when my hip pain seemed to plateau. (the timing also coincided with my sons graduation from high school and correspondence from my ex-husbands attorney seeking court intervention for financial reasons related to college tuition)
I was hoping it was the "storm before the calm" but no such luck!
I watch YouTube videos, have viewed both the segments you mentioned; I find Dr. Sarnos voice calming to listen to in interviews.
I learned to do guided imagery to ease the pain at night so I could sleep. (it only works at bedtime for me)
I do see a TMS physician - Dr. Paul Gwozdz - who has been supportive and informative in my healing process. He had recommended I see a psychiatrist, since I seemed to be getting deeper into a dark place from my journaling. I was prescribed Cymbalta (I posted in an earlier thread on this)
Somehow I'm just not getting it though.
At times I even question if the diminished use of my legs is creating atrophy because they are so weak.
Courage I have - I am a cancer survivor. TMS recovery is a job done solo because it comes from within and it is lonely and hard.
I'm exhausted and discouraged.

 

Not using your leg muscles will cause atrophy, but with a couple of weeks of exercise you can regain your muscle tone. I use a cane too. It's by Leki and collapses down to 18". Even if I didn't need it I would keep it around since it's a handy tool. A lot of people use one in each hand for hiking and walking. I still play competitive tennis almost everyday. Since I can't run on the courts, I run in the pool thirty minutes a day using a flotation belt and listen to a waterproof FM radio. Can you run in a pool? Does Dr. Gwozdz say you have TMS? I hear he's very good.

 

SusieQ,

Sometimes taking a break from journaling is a good thing. Have you read/listened to Alan Gordon's Recovery Program? Especially the part on Outcome Independence may be helpful. Try to find some joy in life to focus on despite the symptoms. Have you tried talking to your brain? There are some good phrases in Unlearn Your Pain. Something like "I am strong and healthy. My brain is playing a trick on me. My legs are strong, so stop it brain." Sounds silly, but I found this technique very helpful. Use your conscious brain to override your unconscious with repetition of the truth. It eventually sinks in.

Yes, this work is lonely and exhausting. Most of us can relate to what you are going through. But it is the path that will lead to recovery. Hang in there. Keep going. It's OK to be discouraged at times. You've survived cancer. You can recover from TMS.

 

Thank you Ellen!

 

Hi Tennis Tom!
Dr. Gwozdz is wonderful and I would recommend him to anyone in the tri-state (NY/NJ/CT) area.
I am going to get back to the YMCA (where I completed a 3 month "LIVESTRONG" cancer program earlier this Spring)
By the end of the program I was walking without my cane, although my range of motion in my hips (adduction and abduction) saw little improvement.
I'm certain I need to combine my TMS "thinking' with more physical activity to see more improvement.
All I want to do is to be able to walk!

 

Hi, SusieQ. The others have given you excellent advice. I would like to add my confidence that you are going to heal. A cancer survivor definitely will heal from TMS.

I'm 85 and can walk in the house without a cane, but if I walk outside, I take the cane. I don't think of it as a cane but as a hiking/walking stick.

Just keep walking, indoors or outside, to keep the leg muscles healthy.

Amazing! The postman just delivered the mail and there wasn't even one bill in it! That made my day.