Day 39 Great day for TMS evidence!

Hiya all,

So, yesterday I was with my mother and something emotional arose for me and I was compelled to address it in the moment. The familiar and usual mocking, belittling and dismissing ensued. It was quite something to behold even after all these years! Any attempts to find resolution in conversation were futile and crazy making. But! I was witnessing in real time my ability to send messages of safety while observing my body feeling the familiar clenching of my belly, the intense all over "nerve pain" ramping up(oh!! I remember this feeling from these experiences in childhood!). There was a lot of energy/emotions moving about! As soon as I was out of the situation this body shook and trembled wildly(I am very used to this process, although this was level 11 out of 10!) as though I was freezing cold. I just went about my business of finding my way home on the train, all while letting my body do what it needed to release. It settled in a short time and then my mind did what it does in processing the event...playing the experience over, exploring what I might have wanted to say, all the emotions I had about it, and finding insight and some truth about the situation.
I actually found it quite funny...just prior, in our conversation she was expressing not being able to understand at all how or why people(in this instance the Israeli gov't) could treat others so awfully; without care. The individual and collective unhealed trauma that turns abusive; we see it playing out all over on the world stage, I responded. The macrocosm. Mere moments later here it was, this very same dynamic playing out in the micro...between 2 people...but for my ability to observe and stay pretty darn present...jump off the crazy merry-go-round! Of course, I was alone in seeing the beautiful irony! I had a good chuckle ...I didn't suffer this painful event.

As for when the intense sensations do come up, I am finding myself able to more and more consistently, and honestly, respond with a relaxed and indifferent "go ahead, do your thing...I know you'll be done soon enough." And just get on with whatever I am doing. It really is helpful.

Anyways, just wanted to share. Thanks for reading and have a wonderful day

Ahri

 

One of my favorite Ram Dass quotes "If you think you've become enlightened, go and spend a week with your family"

Many of my 'hippy, peace love and Woodstock' friends are some of the angriest, bad karma farming people I know. Eckhart Tolle talked about people with strong pain bodies getting involved in organizations and movements. Ultimately , as they haven't changed , bringing the same turmoil they are fighting into the peaceful 'cause'.

i limit my exposure to certain people because I never know whats going on in my unconscious so I don't even know how to avoid 'it'. 'Becoming the watcher' like the buddhists teach is the only strategy I know to avoid TMS with 'those people'

 

Yep, I recall Pema Chodron writing about a fellow who was right in there with the "peace movement" and each time a demonstration or action would come to an end he would descend into a deep depression...until the next one!

I too find observing, becoming the watcher, seems the best thing when in a situation with another who has zero self awareness or ability to respond with at least some level of sanity. Buddhists might also say it's the compassionate way, I suppose. (There I go bringing that word up again, hey Baseball?!) Also, with an 83 year old parent with signs of dementia...what you gonna do?! I've never had an 83 year old parent before so I'm learning on the fly