Day 9 Harsh Critic

Have you been overly critical of yourself lately? How and why have you done this?

Most certainly I have been critical of myself. Not just lately, but for many many years. It's the baseline of my thinking - I virtually always have thoughts on what I could have done better in any given situation. With my 2-year illness now, I have been feeling immense guilt towards friends, family, work etc. for not being there in the way I should be - according to myself. I also feel a sense of guilt towards myself, for not being strong enough to simply bulldozer through this pain and be doing fun stuff instead of breaking down.

As for a source, I cannot really identify one. Maybe it has just been a survival mechanism created when I was a child to get attention. People noticed me when I excelled in class, and I did not get as much attention as some of the popular kids. Maybe there is more to it, maybe not.

During these days in the program, I am trying to create self-love habits.

 

My husband has this way of thinking as well. He can be so harsh on himself - but so loving and forgiving to others.... I think the challenge is to be as good to yourself as you would be to someone else - it is part of learning to love ourselves - in a real deep down way...
With him i think it was growing up with lots of foster kids about - he decided early that he did not need any help or support - as the other kids needed it more.... But of course ALL kids need help - so now he has to sort out how he can help his 'child' self - in a middle-aged man's body!!!

 

ps - and see 'Self Love' post