Day 1 Hello Strangers

Hello Strangers,
This is day 1 of the program for me and I've been hesitant to make this post. First, because it feels a bit weird to open up about my "feelings" on a forum of people I do not know. Second, because after reading other posts I see that people are going though the same thing I am. And that makes me want to type out a book here that I am sure no one wants to read. So, I'll try to be brief.

My story in a nutshell: I am 36 years old and have endured pain in my lower back for about 20 years. It just became part of who I was until about 2 years ago when I had an acute attack that landed me immobile for 2 months. This time it was different though, because it was in my upper back and neck where I had not had issues before. It was crippling to me and my family. We went through the typical medical system that left me hooked on pain killers and being told I had herniated disks and needed surgery. I rejected this and ended up getting some spinal injections. During the course of the injection treatments I watched Sarno's DVD and read Healing Back Pain - I immediately identified.

I knew this was important, but the acute episode passed and I had to get back on with my life. I experienced many other TMS related issues, but nothing disabling until last week. Out of nowhere I had paralyzing sciatica. I immediately thought about TMS but was so crippled I needed help. After the second day, I was being rolled out of the doctors office in a wheelchair with a bottle of pain killers. Not my finest moment.

After a few days of misery, I began re-reading Dr Sarno's book and (this is going to sound crazy) as I was reading I could literally feel the pain move from my leg into my neck where it had been the last time. This was scary as I thought I was doomed again. I've kept reading, am about half way though the book, and am off pain killers as of yesterday.

I am 100% on board with a TMS diagnosis, and I have the textbook personality and history. In spite of that, I still have doubts and worries. I find dealing with this to be very lonely. It is near impossible to explain this to anyone regardless of how much they care. For my entire life I have blazed my own trail, and now once again I feel I need to go it alone. I am also one to put my own needs last and I am concerned that I will not keep on this for the sake of my own self preservation. I have pain every day, but only do anything about it when it immobilizes me. I am hoping this program will help me address it head on.

 

Not crazy at all Martin. When I found Healing Back Pain - The Mind Body Connection I read the book in one day. As the day went on my lower back and hamstring pain migrated up into my shoulder blades. Keep reading, keep with this Structured Educational Program. I was a believer in TMS but a bit skeptical of the journaling on day one. I'm 8 days ahead of you and believe in the program completely.

 

Welcome, Martin and mikegs, too. You are so in the right place. Recovery from TMS can be quick and it can also be long. Either way, you no longer, "need to go it alone". In fact, if you like, several thousand of us will rush over to your house and tell you in person that when it comes to TMS we totally understand.

Well, maybe not, but welcome

 

Thank you both for the kind words and input. Mikegs - I thought I was going crazy when the pain was moving. Im just going to put my faith in the program - Day 2 and feels right so far. My logical brain gets it, but then there is all that emotional baggage to deal with...I guess if it were easy it wouldn't be such a pain in the neck (pun intended!)

 

I think half of winning the TMS war is the commitment to face the battle. You seem to have got that down. Then it's important to know the war is an internal one of ideas with clarity and peace as the goal. No harm done, only good results from this war!

 

Depression has been my cloak for many many years. i had such shame. I kept thinking, I am an intelligent person why can't I figure this out. i have a great husband and a successful career. I have everything anyone coud want.....but the heavy dark cloak hung over me for years. I have also had numerous numerous physical symptoms and chronic pain all my life. I too felt a slight physical relief when reading the book....weird

I knew I had found the answer in The Divided Mind.

Martin, keep us updated on your amazing journey.

 

Stella, Hi.
The Divided Mind is a great book. have you read the forum posts on it?

Here's one in praise of...


http://www.thankyoudrsarno.org/tag/the-divided-mind