Day 1 Hello

I have read both Healing back pain and the Divided mind, but I'm struggling to overcome my pain. I feel that the more I try to figure out why I'm having pain, the more pain I get. I look forward to the structure this program provides and hopefully it will give me tools to overcome this TMS for good.

 

Hi Rainbow, - I've read several of the books too, and am on day 15 of the program and feel it's helping. I can't say that I'm instantly healed but I really value the thought process the program directs you through because I know I wouldn't examine these issues without a prompt. Best of luck on your journey. JBG

 

Thanks everyone. I did Day 2 exercise yesterday and it helped me pin point exactly what emotion I'm trying to repress. What was surprising to me is that I have felt that emotion several times (especially when I'm in despair), but I always rationalise out of that feeling. Because accepting it would shatter my self-image. Essentially, it is "My life as it is, is not enough. I was supposed to be so much more, but I'm not". The worst part is that I have constantly felt it for a long time, struggled hard for years to overcome everything that makes me feel this way. In fact, my life right now is about as good as it can get. This is probably the best I can achieve given what I've been through. So, the feeling that it is still not enough is extremely threatening.

Once that feeling came out into the open, there was nothing else and I immediately felt lighter. The pain is not gone yet, but I'm able to tell myself (truly for the first time) that there is nothing wrong with my body. I'm healthy. I'm not sick. That is a miracle.

I'm also telling myself that my unconscious has a right to feel that way if it wants. There is nothing I could do that will change its opinion, so I might as well let it go. It is OK for my unconscious to feel that my life is a failure. There is nothing I can do to change it. I could consciously think that this is the best I can do and live my life. Yes, it is a consolation prize in the opinion of my unconscious, but compared to what it was before, my conscious mind is happy to take this and be content.

My unconscious and I can respectfully agree to disagree on this subject. Like adults ;-)

I look forward to what Day 3 will unfold today. Thank you for all your support.

 

I struggled quite a bit too and found that the prompts are very useful in bringing out the right feelings. Glad that you are chugging along and are happy with the progress.

 

Hi Rainbow, you took the right step.
Continue on and don't loose hope. We are all here to help eachother.

 

just want to support you....don't give up hope...hope radiates positive. this pain cant control us....its too negative. wishing u strength on your journey.