Help

Can anyone recommend a therapist or coach that actually helped them in thier TMS recovery. Preferably someone who actually helped you make a full recovery.
Ive tried a few and none of them were any good. All they wanted to do was journal and deep breathe.
And ive done the journalling over and over and it never did work for me.
If anyone has any suggestions of someone that actually found helped them and didn't avoid things that would be appreciated.

Thanks

 

Hi, Calm,
I hope someone can recommend a good TMS therapist to you. I’ve never used one. Have you considered joining one of the support groups. Dan Buglio, The Mindful Gardener and Nicole Sachs all have them. A good thing to remember is that ultimately, it will be you that will make you better. You are the biggest factor in your healing. Also, sometimes it takes much more time to get better than you think.

 

I'm afraid I can't advise of a specific coach or therapist either, but hopefully someone will come along shortly with some good suggestions.

As @Diana-M so profoundly says though...

And as @Diana-M also says, joining a group could well prove fruitful.

In addition to that, my suggestion is to consider doing a workbook called 'The Pain Reprocessing Therapy Workbook: Using the Brain's Neuroplasticity to Break the Cycle of Chronic Pain' by Vanessa M. Blackstone and Olivia S. Sinaiko, which has the following recommendation on Amazon...

“The majority of my patients with chronic pain have neuroplastic pain mechanisms, and will benefit from having this workbook to learn and practice PRT. It’s like having a therapist on their side, and there is no one better than Vanessa and Olivia to guide them. They have the practical knowledge and a solid understanding of the neuroscience of pain.” —Andrea Furlan, MD, PhD, professor in the department of medicine at the University of Toronto.

I'm currently doing The Workbook and you can see my thread about it here, should it be of interest to you at all... https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/the-pain-reprocessing-therapy-workbook.30102/

 

I've not used a TMS coach. I did look into some at the beginning of my journey when I found out about TMS and I just couldn't justify paying their fees when I had paid so much in doctors fees and functional doctor's fees. There are free resources out there-listening to podcasts (The Cure for Chronic Pain is a good one!), the SEP program on this website, and chatGPT! I used chatGPT to learn more about TMS and then it provided a journaling plan related to my symptoms, somatic exercises to calm my nervous system, and some meditations. Diana is right-only you can heal yourself and may take some trial and error to see how your body responds to different therapies!

 

You are me. I looked into Schubiner and Stracks and was like ahhhhh, yeah. I just can't. We do have a local TMS psychiatrist but I wanted a physician first for the actual diagnosis.

 

I've done most things. Somatic tracking. Jounrwlling. Meditation. None of it has proven to help me.

Unsure what to do next.

I know what patterns I have etc but not reallt what sure what to do with them or how to change.

And to be honest im not reqllt sure what needs to happen any more.

Feels like ive walked around in a cage knowing theres a door but I cant find it.

 

What are the specifics of your situation, Your symptoms, your reaction to them, your fear levels, day to day thoughts etc?

 

Believe it or not this is how most of us feel. Good description of it! All it means is you haven’t found the solution yet. Most people think it will be somewhat straightforward and simple, but it isn’t. Don’t give up!

Here’s a quote I like from a TMS expert:

“Just because things haven’t changed doesn’t mean they can’t change. The reason the symptoms haven’t changed is that you haven’t found the right solution; it’s not because the symptoms are unchangeable.” Dan Ratner, from his book, Crushing Doubt

 

"someone who actually helped you make a full recovery."

This is looking for a fix. It's fixing and it's looking for someone outside of you to fix it.
Coaches teach you skills and strategies to help yourself over time. Looking for someone else to "fix" you is simply not the answer to TMS. It's exactly the same type of behavior as going to doctors, or searching for miracle fixes in medications, diets etc.

"I know what patterns I have etc but not reallt what sure what to do with them or how to change"

This is your brain on TMS. If you've done the SEP to completion or completed ANY TMS program (or read a book by Dr. Sarno) then you will know exactly what needs to be done. Knowing the information and getting the mind to accept and use the information with absolute vulnerability is the "what to do or how to change".

"I know what patterns I have" is another TMS blockage. You don't know it all. Trust me! You know what has been revealed up to this time but being firm in the fact you know everything is a mindset of being very black and white or part of what Sarno calls "Legalistic". Softening these attitudes to one of wondrous discovery, to open mindedness, to curiosity is part of the mindset needed to find a way out. Notice how light hearted these attitudes are. There is no beginning and end.

You don't need to journal anymore unless you want to.
What you may need to do look at the patterns and how they relate to your stress load. Not just triggers, but the little drips of daily stressors, usually internal things that add to your stress bucket so much that it overloads and you get symptoms.
Engage in things for fun. EVEN look at what you think of as "fun". If there is any have to, must, or reason for doing the activity then it is not going to help you lessen your load. These things can be hobbies (which not everyone has) although hobbies themselves can be loaded. eg. I sew. I can create a lot of inner stress while sewing with my thoughts. It doesn't take me away from my own inner machinations so it's not a good option for lowering a stress load. Walking in nature (if you can) alone or with a pet, playing music just for you, meditation - things were there is no right or wrong, no self pressure, no stories around it nothing from the "I know what patterns I have" department of your mind. Those are great things to help you unload a bit of stress. d
AT THE SAME TIME you are working on these things begin unpacking a bit of those "patterns" (not while you are doing the activity of unloading, this is at a different time of the day). Look at your thought patterns, triggers, and look predominantly at the inner stress you create by thoughts about yourself. This kind of comes in dribs and drabs about your day as you become more aware. Look at the emotions these thoughts might be creating in the way you have sensations in the moment. This is part of the take a few deep breaths method you've been taught.
Just stop, take a few deep breaths and sit for 3-4 minutes and feel in your body how you feel. Not focusing necessarily on your symptoms but on your physical body. Air on the skin, bum in the seat, feet on the floor, tingling sensations of being alive, maybe swirling blackness behind your eyes ... any sensation at all. Let it sit there and also sense if you have any emotional stuff happening. You might wonder what the point of this is - it's just to process it all. Nothing else. It's to notice and let it all sit there without a swirl of thoughts or judgements. You don't need to sit any longer than a few minutes once or twice a day and if you can, do it at work.

After you learn TMS skills you need to put them to use in everyday life as you are living life. Sure there may be days when you get home and journaling about your day will be an excellent idea to blow off some steam or to set yourself right about your emotions, triggers etc.

Another element to work on is your freak-out factor. When you get sensations you judge as things you "dislike" - your symptoms OR your reaction to the sensation of emotions - you need to begin to learn to respond to them with more ease. This is another part of dealing with your stress load. You're teaching your nervous system that these thing are not panic worthy, that you can absolutely handle them. Yes, they might get your attention, but then you respond by gently turning your attention elsewhere to something that is needed or necessary. You may momentarily notice any emotions attached to the moment but don't dwell there. Just notice and turn your mind elsewhere. This is similar to Claire Weekes "floating" method. You are learning to distance your mind from the inflated importance of these tiny moments.

Know that there is no magical formula, know magical timeline to ending the sensations and the very first things to change are often the emotional and mental suffering. You will need to stop worrying about finding someone to cure you, about how quickly this is all "working" to begin noticing the little changes in yourself (an evidence sheet which is not just physical but also mental and emotional), to start giving yourself cudos for a variety of reasons: for sticking with a set "program" (which you, yourself can write), for being there for yourself, for the moments you notice etc.

One of the biggest things you need to do is set yourself up for the things you are going to "do" and do them every single day. Don't miss a day. I just gave you an entire outline above of an example of what you can do, but it's up to you to "reallt what sure what to do with them or how to change." over time.

 

Also, I have found that the people here and that I have met in TMS groups on FB have been excellent resources to drive me on my own way. I think if you dig deep, you will find you may not need an "official" provider.

 

I didn't mean i wanted someone to fix me. I would of liked someone for support and guidance.

Believe me ive worked out a lot of thungs as to why I probably have the symptoms. I've journalled about them but they never changed the pain. Im not sure how people get relief that way. Never worked ror me. For me I thinks its going to be a case of now I know the mental patterns etc that cause me to be miserable and are actually attracting more of the same situations I need to work out a way to actually feel different and become a different person. Ir become the person I was before life happened.

Clearly just uncovering emotions isn't enough. Especially if you stay atuck in the funk. I think its a case of genuinely changing yourself. Its a call to come home to yiurself.

The hardest part is when your 3d experience reflects your stinking thinking snd being willing to change before you aee changes in your reality.

This has been the thing. But knowing how to get the ego out of your way to return to self. Thats the hardest part. The egos defense.

I've come to the point I think things like meditation and journalling are tools to help you uncover whats underneath but not the solution. Just a gateway to show you where you actually need to change.

If you dint change you will just keeo attracting the same stuff you dont want and your synptoms will remain.

For me I believe I need to start....

Bringing in feelings of I am truly supoorted and I dont have to do everything alone.

Other people's problems aren't yours and its not your job to fix everything.

Bring in feelings of my kife can get better and better.

Bring in feelings if being good enough and dint have to be perfect.

That its ok to relax. Its not your job to do everything and keep everything together.

Believe you do have control over your life.

I lot of it is repetition compulsion. What you expect you get.

The hardest part is believing things can be different before they happen in you4 visual reality.

I personally dont think its enough to know the causes. I think you genuinely have to change.

I believe the people wh9 get better snd then get symptoms again are people who never truly change. And just blame others for their circumstances.

I am in the limbo of I know the problem but getting the ego to move aside so I can step into the new me.

The ego is the one you need to convince

 

This is beautiful! I think you are on a good path.

 

It’s great you are able to say you want support and guidance. This is a good start.
May I ask how many times (approx) you saw your coaches?
I ask because I saw a few, and I did all of their sessions (usually a series of 12) but did not progress. Not because of them, but because I could not. I was not ready. Fear of my symptoms, severe anxiety, panic attacks and depression held me back. The coaches simply could not help me progress until I worked through those things and once I did, I was able to better understand the work and did not need to see a coach. Now I choose to see one about twice a year. She listens, points out where my mindset is at and offers helpful improvements to work towards.

I will say you’ve had lots of support and guidance on this thread. Is that enough for you? What level of support and/or guidance do you envision to meet your needs?

 

I feel like I cant keep my mind out of the negative. I struggle to see anything working fir me. Mainly cos ive tried all the tools and never seen a xhsnge. If I saw something improve I could build momentum. But that hasn't happened.
Im a controlling person who expects things to go wrong. This is a direct issue. Peiplr say xhange your mindset like its simple

 

Concentrate on the positive. Every single time when you notice that you concentrate on something negative - flip it - concentrate on something positive. It's a habit like other habits, you work on it every day. That's how you actually change your mind.

Take care.

 

Like what

 

I think it is true for some people if you do not change how your brain functions then you will not lose symptoms. If someone's an anxious mess and scared of everything I don't see how they could lose symptoms.
I think the people who get better but get symptoms again just haven't fully completed their journey. You see it all the time and with most success stories. People saying "I've overcome the fear even though I have some symptoms." The vast majority of people including people who consider themselves a success do not recognize how long this stuff really takes. It could take many years to fully change the neurons in your brain. Your brain isn't going to master an instrument or skill in a few years so why would this be any different? And it doesn't forget something you've mastered in a few years either. Neural pathways take forever to change if they've been there forever. Also, stay away from the "ego" stuff. It's completely irrelevant to recovery and not even scientifically proven.

 

This seems to be more than just a negative mindset. You refuse to answer simple questions about your journey so far, and have repeated about your mindset difficulties.
Perhaps you need assistance with depression and or anxiety to help you meet your needs. This is something a professional can help with, and something lots of folks with TMS struggle with. Sometimes it’s more than just mindset.
Being open and willing to consider options, noticing your resistance to participate in daily practices that help TMS etc. Finding a way to move forward.
Sometimes moving forward or staying stuck is a choice.

 

What simple questions haven't I answered? Im confused

 

Oh sorry it seems I missed your post.

I saw 3 coaches for the duration of their courses. But they just continuously made me journal and deep breathe and it was not working. The journallling was making me more depressed and I wasnt getting any relief.

I eas hoping to find someone who had said they met someone who was able to do mindset work with them. But it seems no one has reallt got a lot of help from coaches