Day 10 Hiding emotions to wife, parents, friends

Hard to enter truly in my emotions and speak about them to :

- My wife : because she does not react to them, and if I repeat she complains I complain to much. Moreover, verbal expression is difficult together. Hard for her to speak or stop speaking... hard for me to listen to her when my brain generates a lot of symptoms.

- My mum : because she is severely sick and my emotions seem insignificant relating to her life, and I am not sure it will not affect her too much. I also sometimes express them for bad reasons, as obtaining something about her and I am ashamed of it.

- My dad : because I think he is too weak psychologically (he is very sick of that) and I feel he does not know how to help me for that

- Even my closest friend : because they do not seem to understand why I just don't let it go, and start activities again, and be more positive my life. That seems to be simple in their point of view, and a huge challenge with a lot of risk, energy, and symptoms in consequence from my point of view.

 

For recovery from TMS it is only necessary that you become aware of your emotions. It is not necessary to express them to others in order to heal. Every relationship has its own complicated dynamics that determine when it is appropriate to express emotions.

 

If it helps, most people around me don’t really get my pain, they try but it’s tough to understand if you don’t live with the reality of TMS I reckon. People on here have been so amazingly kind and understanding and wise so maybe stick with this as your source of support.

 

Thanks all for your replies.

Yes JanAthe, I love myself when I have good health. When I habe TMS symptoms I'm afraid I don't love me as much. I love and regret a bit my older me... even I know I should not.

 

This is a very important realization and is likely a major factor fueling your TMS. In my experience, you have to make peace with your symptoms before you can move on. Stop resisting them. Just do the Work. You are not your TMS, and you are worthy of love just as you are.