Day 1 High expectations

Hello,
I'm a 58 year old man. I've had lower back pain (I used to call it my hip, but it's really my left lower back) for about 7 years. I had one bout when it was excruciating, at the beginning, and the doctor thought it was sacroiliitis. I could barely walk. After a week of pain meds, it got under control, and mostly was gone, but it never fully departed. I also occasionally had some pain the left of my shoulder blade. I was sometimes successful about treating it with visits to an osteopath or a shiatsu massage practitioner.

My primary care doctor told me I had lumbar disc disease, and I should do core exercises, which I've done now for a couple of years, but the pain has never fully gone away. In the last few months, it's acted up again. Never excruciating or debilitating, but always there, especially in the mornings. I really just want it to go away. I asked the doctor to go for PT to see if I was doing these exercises right, and they added in some stretching exercises. Some of these weren't that comfortable, so I developed a daily 30 minute morning yoga routine based on the yoga I'd learned over the last 6 or 7 years. That seems to help somewhat. I feel good after the yoga, and OK the rest of the day, but the pain comes and goes. And its almost always back first thing in the morning. I had one day of zero pain a couple of weeks ago, three days after my last osteopath manipulation. But the next day was back to usual.

I stumbled upon TMS and Dr. Sarno's work a couple of weeks ago. I devoured Healing Back Pain. And just finished "week zero". With the direction to resume physical exercise, I've modified my morning exercise routine to be rotate between a day of: elliptical, Heavy Hands routine, yoga routine, each morning. Even though I liked the morning yoga practice, it felt like I was focusing too much on the structural aspect of my pain, so mixing it up with regular exercise seemed like a good idea.

So, with the question "What would a life without TMS mean to you?", it would mean I wouldn't have trouble bending over tying my shoes. Or to pick up something I dropped on the floor. It would mean I'd move about without thinking about my pain. I'd be able sit at this computer without a nagging sensation in my back.

I feel lucky in that my pain isn't excruciating or debilitating. But the constant reminder of pain is something I'd really like to get over! The concept of TMS makes sense to me. I have a lot of the characteristics of people that get it -- I like to please. I don't express feelings. I let people get there way to avoid a fight. I'm a nice guy, which people appreciate, but sometimes it means not getting what I need.

I have high expectations that this will be effective! Thanks for those of you reading this, and the folks who put this wiki and program together.

Jeff

 

Hey Jeff,

Happy New Year and welcome - this program is amazing and I wish you the best. My only advice is to keep up on the work and finish the entire 6 weeks.

Hope to read more posts from you soon!

 

Hi Jeff,
Welcome to the Forum and SEP. I think you made a good decision to change yoga and exercise routine to reflect a desire to "feel good and healthy" vs "fix my pain." As you progress in the SEP, try to develop "outcome independence" which is the practice of "not being too concerned about the pain." If you get fearful of the pain or notice you're monitoring it a lot, you can simply acknowledge this tendency, and not fight that either. Just bring awareness to your relationship to pain and TMS. It grows and maintains itself on all the thinking and action we take to "make it go away." Enjoy the SEP, and you'll probably learn more about yourself too!
Andy B.

 

Thanks for the encouragement Kevin and Andy...on to day 2!

 

Hi, Jeff. Keep those expectations healing up. I add my encourgement to the others. The SEProgram does work! I am 85 and suffered from severe back pain three years ago, discovered Sarno and TMS and did the SEProgram. I journaled and found repressed emotions that led me to forgive those I believed caused them, and the pain went away. It will for you, too. Be patient and positive. The exercise, yoga, and TMS reading will all help you to heal.