Day 8 HOPE, PAIN, ACTION

Pardon the dramatic title, I'm in a goofy mood this morning.

This last week has been hope-filled. My pain is not gone, but my fear of aggravating it has lost its power. Any time it pops up I remind myself that it isn't physical and that I'm fine. Journaling doesn't make it go away necessarily, but not caring about it stops it from getting worse. Being able to work out 6 days last week (weights and running!) has had a huge mental health boost, and the lack of increased pain has really started to shift my belief in this. Another big clue has been a shifting of pain from my left hip to my right. My right's never hurt before. I almost laughed when I felt it. It's as if my brain was saying "hey uhhh, is this gonna work?" Not now, dummy. You blew your chance.

Admittedly I'm still not at 100% acceptance. Some fears I haven't totally accepted:

How can I need so much work if Dr. Sarno was curing people in two visits?

What if I rely on fitness again as an antidepressant and it (once again) is pulled out from under me by injury?

How do I know what symptoms are TMS and what aren't? Can I even trust my body anymore?

What if this week has been placebo?


BUT

I worked out for 6 days last week and my pain stayed the same or decreased. That's enough to keep me coming back every morning for now. That's amazing. Hope you all experience something similar.

 

Dear AnotherTMSguy, congrats! Your first steps are succesful. And that’s great. You have a lot of questions and that’s perfectly normal. Most of us haven’t experienced the two session healing. For me it worked sometimes, but then the pain came back after a year or so. And it’s ok to have doubts. The doubts only disappear over time. So, your process is absolutely normal and fine. Maybe you should have a look on the way you do journaling or what you think it means to you. Because, in the end the emotional stability results a good deal from being aware of your emotions. Present emotions and those bottled up during the years.
You will develop new symptoms and sometimes it is easy to unmask them as TMS. Sometimes you will need regular diagnostics. But yes, you can trust your body. I can tell a story by Abigail Steidley who is a coach and suffered from pelvic pain and numerous other TMS pain. Some years after her full recovery she woke in the night with severe pain in the abdomen. And she knew instantly that this was not TMS and called the ambulance. She was right. I think it was kidney stones that caused this pain attack. So, again, you can trust your body!
All the best!