How do I talk about the Structured Educational Program?

I was in an auto accident years ago, after which I developed TMS (well, I've come to learn that TMS has been with me most of my life, it's just that it became debilitating after the accident). I stopped working and moved back in with my parents. All of my relatives know me as the person that was injured, cannot recover, and cannot move on with life.

After having made years of progress to the point that I was working a part-time job, I had a significant setback last year. I spent quite a bit of time in bed, and became very deconditioned (again). I visited a TMS practitioner, and spoke to a relative of mine who happens to be a medical doctor. I explained that I have not recovered since I have a problem with the way my body perceives and responds to stimuli, resulting in pain that is out of proportion to the stimuli encountered. I compared my condition to phantom limb syndrome. I explained that I am looking into/engaging in various methods to heal.

I'd like to speak with this relative again, but don't know how to couch the TMS treatment that I've been doing. I haven't gone to any more doctors, I've just been doing the Structured Recovery Program. The fact of the matter is that TMS is very simple. I could simply send the relative a link to the 20/20 interview with Dr. Sarno, or any other primer. However, I explained TMS the way I did to shield myself from judgement. If it were to be known that my life fell apart and I moved back in with my parents because I can't process the trauma/personality factors/stresses/etc. of my life in a way sufficient to allow me to live on my own, I would be looked down upon to such a degree that I might never be able to live it down.

I don't know how to explain the recovery program in such a way that would be acceptable. I've thought of calling it a "desensitizing" program for the autonomic nervous system. However, when pressed for details, the fact that I am engaged in a psychological treatment program would soon emerge. I need to make it known that I'm being proactive in treating my condition, yet I don't know how to do so and save face.

Any thoughts? Thanks.

 

It's more important that the recovery program be acceptable to YOU than to other people. I had some hesitations about talking about the recovery program with my own wife, but in the end one has to have the confidence in one's diagnosis and the necessary treatment in order for it to work.

Don't be too judgmental of yourself from the perspectives of others. I'm very much the same way, in that I often fear that people are going to make assumptions about me if I tell them something like I have TMS, or explain it, because then they'll just think I'm a little sissy who can't get over his emotional problems, and so he's making up this fake disorder to cover up his own feebleness.

In the end, whatever other people think, if the treatment works for you then you should be proud and feel confirmed in your decision. I don't think there's any shame in having to go back to live with your parents for a little while if you need to sort things out. We all need a safe space from time to time, to relax and to process our thoughts. We need to be taken care of sometimes. It's a tough admission to make in our hyper-macho culture, but it's a sign of bravery to be able to admit something like that. The most important thing here is not saving face, but YOUR RECOVERY. And that can't happen if you're beating yourself up for a little setback. Don't worry about talking about it --- get yourself better, then you will tell everyone about the amazing recovery program you completed. You'll be in a better place at that time.

Keep us posted on your progress, too !

 

I'd agree that my recovery is primary. I don't know what to do. I'd like to talk to this relative and others without sounding like a basket case. I might just have to say I'm engaged in some sort of plausible sounding treatment, and leave it at that.