I cannot feel. How do I feel something? I feel like I should cry, but can't. I have TMS

Guys, every once in a while I get this feeling like I need to cry. Sometimes while watching TV, sometimes while being outside, and sometimes while listening to music.

It begins... and then immediately stops.

I feel like I have needed to cry for years and it just doesn't happen.

Usually I am in a place where I feel like I cannot (watching TV with my parents, walking listening to music etc.).

I read a story about a guy who had knee pain for years, cried, went to sleep, and woke up and it was gone.

Usually when I cry it's a weak cry anyway, like crying at something peaceful or tranquil. Not the ugly cry.

I am a constant ball of tension. I think a cry would let it go But my body is like HALT. NO CRYING.

 

It is exactly what happened to me. Total shutdown of emotions coincided with physical pain and many other symptoms. Took me years to recover my emotions. What you have is exactly TMS. I recovered thanks to the books of Sarno, C. Weekes, K. Neff and A LOT of meditation.

 

Yep. We have been conditioned as men not to cry at all. I can think of a few in Baseball that are actually Verbal;
When you get hit with a pitch. Every single guy on the field yells "Don't rub it!" (i.e. 'be a man')..and second, if you do bleed "Rub some dirt on it!". (Man up)... even complain a little about something "There is NO crying in Baseball"

Guys who do cry are instantly and pretty permanently ostracized and in spite of what 'Mom' type women say, cry in front of a girl? That is the end of any romance...she will immediately begin the search fro your replacement, unconsciously repulsed by any moment of weakness. Red Pill uncomfortable truth. I was raised by women and had to learn that the hard way.

Meanwhile...none of this will help you recover. So, what to do? Go off by yourself and Provoke it. I have done this before and it was really really satisfying and expedited recovery.... Early on I could go to my fathers gravestone and it was pretty easy, but I HAD to go alone so I never brought anybody... Later, I found a few movies that disturbed the crap out of me and I would fast forward to the scenes that made me cry , make sure I was alone and ball my eyes out.

During a few relapses I found it didn't work anymore so I keep track of stuff that is provocative in that manner....Just like Sarno asserted a nerve continually compressed doesn't create pain, but numbness, exposing yourself to the same sad stuff over and over is similar.

The last few times I needed to do it , I remember having to put my last dog to sleep when she was physically ailing but mentally alert....I was more disturbed by that than the death of many family members and friends. Shallow? Maybe... but it works and it is therapeutic....Remember , we're dealing with stuff in our unconscious so we never really know whats going on, but we can pay attention to what works! and that definitely worked Many times little incursions ended right after crying.

 

I understand exactly. I was the same and I'm a woman, born and raised in a former communist country. I'm also a highly sensitive person and you would presume that I would easily cry. Not the case, since I had to restrain myself. I always cried inside. And had pain. Life was difficult enough for my parents and my mom was/is rather sensitive. After each abuse or negative thing that happened to me outside the home in the f communist society as a child, teen or young adult ... I just could not tell my mom. Dad was very loving but busy and mom was too overwhelmed by life in communism. And she was also busy. I wanted to spare them the extra suffering so I never said anything. To anyone.

Years after living here in the US, as an American citizen, I went to an acupuncture office for a session. My first ever experience like that. I went there for my chronic pain. After all the tiny needles were inserted, I started to cry. I mean...really to cry like crazy. Shaking and crying and I just could not stop. I tried to stop but could not. The kind woman there (the therapist) was in shock but she had the intuition to ask me at some point:"Have you ever experienced trauma in your life?" And I said "Yes!" and started to give her a tiny detail...but she stopped me, said "Don't tell me, stop!" and gave me a phone number of a very good psychotherapist, specialized in EMDR and treating trauma in a few sessions. I went to her later and she was extremely helpful. A no BS psychotherapist, a very good one.

This was how I started to take care of my mental state, my emotions etc. It's a very difficult thing to do, I find it the most difficult in life. Getting rid of the fears, finding balance, keeping the mind clean/at peace, surrendering, living in the moment, and being happy and content. One day at a time.

Someone mentioned meditation. I'm a Yogi. I've been into meditation for 31 years. It is indeed extremely helpful. I use meditation as my daily mental shower. For me quiet time, stillness and keeping the mind pure and clean ...these are helpful for dealing with the pain. In my case. Others use different methods. I need silence and concentrating on living in the moment, in the now.

Take care.