Day 42 I did it- what I learned about myself

I can't believe I did it! Yes, with a 21 day hiatus between the 5th and 6th week, but I did indeed finish. What did I learn about myself. Well
1) The symptoms are a survival tool. Today, I was out jogging and I thought to myself, would I really want to get rid of the symptoms and I thought hard and realized- no. I was not yet confident in my own abilities to handle life- and that's okay. I'll get there. The symptoms have literally been trying to keep me alive. I have been going through so much for about ten years non stop, and I can understand how they are trying to help me. Sometimes I am upset- sometimes I am grateful. But now I realize that they are a survival tool.
2) The amount of stuff I can repress is shocking. The first days of the program when someone asked me, 'what could you be feeling hopeless about?' and I said, 'nothing' and then went and wrote a list, and then went to bed, and then got up and wrote some more things, then went back to bed, and then found myself sobbing for what felt like HOURS. I had no idea that was going on.
3) There are some things in my life that need changing. Honestly. My life is not and was not going in a direction I was enjoying.

I am choosing to go through Dr. Schechter's workbook next; and take a break from this, but can I still post on this website about progress and if so, where? I need the community. And still have symptoms.

Thank you to everyone who has ever written to me- I appreciate you.

 

Congratulations on completing the SEP. Yes, please continue to post about your progress and ask any questions or request for support. You can put these posts in the Support sub-forum or General Discussion sub-forum.

 

Hi cookieheals,

I love reading your heart-felt insights. Life-changing!

You have truly done the inner work which this approach invites us to do. Understanding that you "need" symptoms, and having compassion for yourself about this is inspiring, I think for many.

Most who go to the level you have in your personal inquiry find that changes in life are calling. I think they can be very gentle, and very profound. I wish you luck in these steps. The expansion of life, a more full and complete expression of our human life is an important outcome of TMS work ---what I might call the alignment of our life with the calling of our "soul." Beautiful.

I hope you might post in Success Stories any progress you've made with symptoms in this time, and include your personal growth too. It does not have to be a "perfect cure." It is nice to title that with the symptoms, and you can add tags to indicate symptoms and programs like SEP.

Dr. Schubiner's book is like "therapy in a box." I think you're ready for this.

Good luck in your continued unfoldment in life, and do keep us posted.

Andy