Day 1 I feel hopefull

Hello,
I heard about TMS years ago when I worked in massage. A client that had chronic back pain told me about Dr. Sarno's approach and how it had eliminated her back pain. She now only came for massage for relaxation not for pain treatment. I had been dealing with low back pain and pirifiormis syndrome for years at that point but dismissed the idea that TMS even existed.
My back has continued to be a problem area throughout the years. I am now 53 and feel hopeless that I'll really ever be pain free. I injured my groin badly at the gym 3 months ago and then pain started in my back as well. I used to over exercise and thought I had just been too active in the gym. Two weeks ago after spending the weekend with my boyfriend I got home and had a back spasm in my back. It came out of nowhere or so I thought. Prior to the back my eye had been twitching the whole weekend and I'd had a panic attack at night.
The next day I had a deep tissue massage thinking it would help the back. It made it far worse. I had bi lateral back spasms and my pain was an 8/10. Then I went to the chiropractor. He said my spine was fine and it may have been I had more pain b/c of the very deep massage. I was in so much pain. The next day we put our beloved dog of 15 years down. I was heartbroken (still am) And my back got worse.
I had tried cortisone shots into my SI joint, PT etc. Nothing helped.
I thought about Dr. Sarno again and thought I should give it a try.

I am a perfectionist
Survivor of sexual abuse as a child
Had a sister die when I was young
I suffered with anorexia for years!
I am a people pleaser
I married an abusive man
I have anxiety at night
I am prone to depression.

I am only now diving deep into all the pain and rage I've held in for so long. The dog dying did me in and the crying hasn't let up. I am sure my chronic pains are directly related to unfelt emotions. Makes total sense to me. My back was terrible in my abusive marriage. I never really dealt with the sexual abuse and loss from my childhood. It's all still stuck in my body.

I am in a loving relationship now and I want to enjoy life without physical pain. I believe my mind can help heal my body. I am hopeful for the first time ever.

 

Welcome to the wiki! You are definitely in the right place and every reason to be hopeful!