I feel hopeless...

Hi everyone, my name is Diego and I’m from Barcelona. I wanted to share my story because I’m once again feeling a bit hopeless…



Almost 4 years ago, after going through a couple of very stressful years, I started to develop strange symptoms that scared me a lot. Some of them are:

• Dry mouth
  
  
• Discomfort on the tongue
  
  
• Tinnitus
  
  
• Muscle twitches
  
  
• Burning sensations in my limbs
  
  
• Raynaud’s syndrome
  
  
• Insomnia
  
  
• Jaw pain
  

…and probably more that I can’t even remember right now.



But since then, the main symptom I haven’t been able to get rid of is dry eyes, which comes along with a very uncomfortable pressure behind my eyes. It gets worse especially when looking at screens or while driving, but honestly, I usually feel it throughout the day even without screens. This symptom has come and gone over time, but what really troubles me is the fear every time it returns—that this time it might stay for good or get worse.



Deep down I try to believe it could be a TMS-related symptom, but whenever it comes back, fear and doubt show up as well. I actually had a few calmer days recently despite the discomfort, but yesterday I stumbled upon a Reddit group where many people described having eye problems similar to mine due to certain OLED screens. They were all searching for different devices without this technology. Reading that really unsettled me and made me question again if my problem is truly TMS or something else like what they say.



What I try to do is look for inconsistencies in my symptoms, since I do have good periods and bad periods, good days and not-so-good days, even though I’m doing exactly the same things.



Can you help me? What do you think?

 

Sounds like classic TMS - lots of symptoms straight after a stressful couple of years. Textbook. Also, the fact that the dry eyes changes day-to-day activity to activity is good evidence for TMS.

How much TMS reading and even more importantly practices have you done? This is essential to know where to direct you and how to help.

Also, have you done work to process the emotional load from the stressful time? TMS is a rage-driven beast and most of us need to learn how to express our emotions fully.

Reddit is notorious for being an anxiety and depressive driven space for pain - they always look for something physical and tend to whip out an AK-47 and shoot down anyone brave enough to post about TMS. So I wouldn't be taking their advice and recommendations too seriously. I really recommend to stop looking at those kind of forums especially as they are scaring you.

The fact that the dry eyes has fully gone before is fantastic - I understand that there is fear associated with it coming back which is normal but this strongly suggests you don't have a physical problem with your eyes.

It sounds like it is time to work with your fear -> meditate, look at your thought patterns, gather evidence (you are doing this), journal, do stuff that relaxes you e.g. listen to music, take a bath, yoga and be consistent with reminding yourself that you have TMS and that TMS is not dangerous and not doing you harm. Hurt doesn't equal harm.

All this being said, I can tell you are having a hard time right now which I totally understand.

However, the help needs to happen from within now as recovering from TMS is an inside job which you are absolutely capable of.

 

I'm assuming you have already been to the dr and nothing was found regarding any of these symptoms. I'd highly recommend starting the SEP program on this website. It's free and helps you work on your emotions through journaling prompts. You will also need to calm down your fear of your dry eyes. Easy to say-not easy to do. Looking for inconsistencies is a good way to help tell yourself this is TMS. Make sure you write it down as well so you can go back to this list and remind yourself.

Stay off Reddit. It's a dumpster fire of people are in chronic pain and feel hopeless. Delete the app and don't look back.

This forum is encouraging and helpful when you need it!

 

I’ve read the books by Sarno and Schubiner, and Dan Buglio’s videos help me a lot, but no matter how much theory I know, I can’t seem to get rid of this symptom. Over time, I’ve noticed many inconsistencies with it, but it always ends up coming back and still leaves me in doubt. It makes me really sad, because I’d love to help people going through this, but then I tell myself, “How are you going to help if you can’t even overcome it yourself?”

 

Yes, I’ve been to the doctor and they didn’t find anything other than some simple suggestions. They did find dry eye, but they never told me it was anything serious. All the other symptoms I mentioned have disappeared. The only one left is the dry eye, which has me feeling really down…

 

The Sarno hate there is real.

 

Great that you have read the books and been cleared by doctors too. That is a platform to build on - well done on building that

Also, you have done amazingly to rid yourself of many other symptoms. What a great sign that you are capable of getting past this one too.

The thing is that theory can only get you so far and most of us who have symptoms need to do the work too. Have you been doing practices from the books/ones that Dan recommends?

Also, why is the eye getting you down so much? Is there something else happening in your life that is contributing to feelings of sadness, fear, upset?
I know for myself that I get symptoms when I am under a lot of emotional strain or I haven't realized that I am feeling a lot of unconscious emotions.

I hope you have some lovely people in your life who are giving you support while you go through this difficult time. I am sending you a hug from Edinburgh and this forum is full of people who love to help others. You are in the right place.

 

OH @Diego91 "“How are you going to help if you can’t even overcome it yourself?” is a lot of self pressure and self-blame, and it adds to your stress.

I was diagnosed with dry eye, although it never really bothered me. I felt sensations, but after reading that it is benign, and can't hurt you, I never paid much attention. My eye doctors tried to sell me many products and treatments. The only things I ever did was relax with a warm eye mask (which I still enjoy when meditating) and use some oily eye drops but very rarely (not as the doctor prescribed, which was 5 or 6 times a day!). Doctors did tell me some things that could be "frightening" but my ophthalmologist I saw for another eye issue assured me they just try to sell expensive services and treatments and he did not see any dry eye. This year I had another eye appointment and no dry eye at all.

I have had body twitching (this is a very common symptom with anxiety), insomnia, tinnitus and in the past, had Raynauds (which after reading it was harmless, it went away) and have overcome them all.

When you read the books by Dr. Sarno did you see yourself on the pages? Did you notice where he talked about the fact that the source of TMS is repressed emotions, thoughts and beliefs we have about ourselves, how we react to stressors and our subconscious rage at many things in life. What did you do with this information?

When you read Dr. Schubiner's book, did you do all the lessons?

Time and patience for yourself, and changing your inner voice to be softer and kinder is a great way to begin changing your mindset towards your symptoms. They are only the manifestation of stress in your body and can not hurt you.

Now you've told us about your symptoms, can you tell us a bit more about yourself? What do you enjoy doing? What is your life like?

 

When I discovered Sarno and the whole world of TMS, I knew deep down that I didn’t actually have any illness, and I felt deeply connected to everything they explained. After many years of anxiety and stress, one day my brain just said “enough!” — and that’s when the symptoms began.



Over the years, I’ve had a lot of proof that, for example, when a new symptom appears and I become obsessed with it, the one I was previously obsessed with disappears. The brain simply can’t focus on two things at once if you’re really afraid of one in particular.



The problem is that every time the symptom comes back, the ghost of doubt and fear haunts me again. I’ve had good periods and bad ones, and whenever the bad ones return, I always wonder if this time it’s going to be the final one — if this time the symptom will stay for good.



That’s what I need to change! I live far too much in my head.

 

Thanks so much! I’ll give the program a try!

 

“The problem is that every time the symptom comes back, the ghost of doubt and fear haunts me again. I’ve had good periods and bad ones, and whenever the bad ones return, I always wonder if this time it’s going to be the final one — if this time the symptom will stay for good.“

Thoughts are not truth are they? So far no symptom has stayed. Two of brain’s job is to a)generate thoughts and b) keep us safe. That is really all TMS is, in many ways.
Sure you may have a worry, a catastrophic thought but it’s not failure on your part. It is a chance to once again use this process to deal with (as you will learn in the SEP program) to deal with thoughts, beliefs, personality traits, repressed emotions, unseen rage and feel more confident that you can handle things that come your way -that healing is not perfection. Dr. Sarno, Nichole Sachs, Dr.Schubiner, Dan Buglio all have symptoms pop up - they’ve talked about it. They don’t freak-out, use the techniques and the symptoms go. They don’t become chronic.
Notice and celebrate your successes! You don’t need to live in a negative worried state. You should also celebrate that your story, your vulnerability to post here is already helping many people.