I have knee pain but dont want to deal with emotion

Hey guys.

I was cured of severe chronic pain a few years ago via reading, testimonies and rehabilitation of TMS. It was great. Since then I had a few TMS flare ups that did resolve. If you read my thread history you will see that.

However, now I have knee pain. I have never had knee pain. I know it is TMS because nothing caused it and I am going through a storm of life. It is obvious to me this storm of life is causing the TMS flare up. Buuuut, I do not want to deal with the emotion. I would rather bury it.

My hope is that this life storm will pass in the next couple of months and then I will deal with the trauma. If I were to start journaling and bringing all my emotions to the surface, gosh I can already imagine how I would feel. Staying strong through the storm seems like the best medicine in my view.

I am especially interested in veteran TMS peers. They may have been through life storms like these. What are yall's thoughts? Should I continue going to the gym and doing light exercises that involve my knee? Should I suck it up and journal? Or is it safe to ignore my TMS emotions?

The questions are how you view the gym? How you view the emotions? And general advice for life storms, the knee and exercise.

Thanks you guys,
Y'all are the best.

 

This storm of life, and wanting to "avoid" it...do you just want to avoid thinking about it, dissecting it?
My take on it is that you don't necessarily have to get into the whole story of why you are feeling this "storm", but I think you do need to take a breath and feel how hard and heavy it feels on your soul.
Notice that when you have these hard feelings, they trigger something that needs to cause you chronic pain.... because you need to attend to the inner you.
Storms in life are normal. Just sit back and notice how you react to that. How your mind works, your attitude, and how your body responds. You may find that sometimes you are going to need to journal about things, and sometimes not. Experiment - see what works for you. Perhaps sometimes it's just some meditation and allowing yourself to feel like crap for awhile, just sitting and allowing the heavy feelings. Remind yourself that this phase in life is temporary and your pain is temporary.
If you feel like going to the gym, go. If you don't feel like going, don't go.
Lighten up on yourself, do what you want to do without a whole lot of self pressure. Wanting to go to the gym because you enjoy working out is a whole lot different than feeling you must go to the gym to fix your knee.

I have days like today when I have NO idea why my body doesn't feel that great. But I know it will pass. I'm not afraid to look at my emotions and or sit with them and just let them be.
Being afraid of them is going to perpetuate both dealing with them or being uncomfortable with the symptoms. But I also know I don't need to get into a whole story about the emotion either. I just feel the way I feel today, and accept it. That seems to work for me to deal with flair ups along the way, but it took experimenting to see what works best.

I hope you find the way you deal with things your best too.

 

Thank you for your response. Yea I need to find what works for me, like you said. I like going to the gym in general. I just feel better overall when I go. I am conditioned to go to the gym to feel good. The knee pain happened before I got gym membership. I am considerate of my knee in the gym but yea well see.

 

Isn’t this a major part of it alone? Just admitting to your Self that you know this is there and going on? That life is insane and you know you have emotions that you don’t want to deal with right now? And that’s ok? There is a sense of pressure here. It’s ok to not want to deal with things especially when you admit it. I would keep talking to myself in that way “I know this is there - I don’t need the symptoms to remind me or protect me” and maybe be as compassionate as you can to yourself during this time. As far as the gym, I wouldn’t not go, but again being kind to myself- not forcing my knee to work in ways it doesn’t want to right now. It will work in those ways eventually again. I feel like just you making your post is a big step to revealing your awareness of the TMS to your subconscious mind.