I'm starting the program today!

Hi everyone, thanks for being here.

I'm starting the structured program tonight. I really recognized myself in the description of the classic person who transfers their other issues to obsession with the TMS concept. I have had a few breakthroughs here and there (temporary) over the last couple years that didn't last, and have collected several TMS-related books and forums, and some of the books have programs to follow which I never did. In the past I have posted on the old TMS forum.

To make a long story short, on top of a lifelong sickliness which I suspect was TMS-related even since I was very young, what stands out the most right now is the last 14 years of fibromyalgia-like all-over massive achy burny pain and fatigue.

I recently had some blood tests done to rule out anything serious and I feel pretty good about that. I believe TMS applies perfectly to me. I am having some trouble with whether or not to let go of certain things in my life that may or may not be conflicting with the TMS approach but that are so intertwined into my life that they would be terrifying to let go of.

OK there is my Day 1 start!!

 

Welcome, Danielle!

Maybe you can let go of things slowly rather than all at once?

 

Welcome and good luck Danielle:

I think you'll find what does and doesn't work for you. One day at a time, is a brilliant saying. You might keep it in the back of your head as you do the program. And there are many here to answer your questions if you need us.

Good luck! We're all different, so every experience will be different. I think you'll find your way and do just fine, just take it slow and not all at once.

BG

 

Thank you both! That is less pressure, to let go of things slowly, one step at a time. I guess that is my hard-on-myself perfectionism (aka TMS fuel), to get everything perfect, correct, and figured out NOW.

I forgot to include one thing in my intro besides the 'fibro': the TMJ, the jaw clenching & headaches, constant pretty much for many years.

If I have a specific question, I wonder if I should start a new thread in a different section or just ask it here? I am wondering about the therapy I'm doing. It is Reichian, it involves getting in more contact with my feelings, but then again I've been doing it for 2 years, and while things in my life have changed, it has not seemed to touch the TMJ/body pain. The only time I get major relief from the therapy for pain seems to be when I have one of these cathartic emotional releases with screaming and sobbing and stuff. But then I feel dependent on the therapist to get that...

 

Hi Danielle:

The therapy you mentioned sounds a bit intense. But if it helps, then continue to work with your therapist. I have stopped seeing mine as much since we weren't doing anything. We sat around and listened to me whine (my words) and nothing ever changed.

I've read and watched videos by TMS doctors and therapists that make a lot of sense to me. So I'm trying this route instead of seeing my therapist as often. I must say that it's sinking in. It's slow go, but I am not on a timeline. I know my life is too busy to expect a miracle overnight, but I AM improving. And that's the name of the game.

Perhaps you should be open to other forms of therapy that aren't so emotionally hard on you. Just my thought.

Good luck!

BG

 

Thanks for your thoughts. Yes the therapy is very intense. I think it was really right for a while because I was coming out of an extremely intense life situation. But now I wonder a lot about it. I think he is a genius and I do think it's useful and I look forward to talking with him. But I'm not sure it is the most direct TMS-curing approach, and I also think there is some rage about how much money I'm spending on it. I see him twice a week. Been thinking of going down to once a week but scared.

 

Are you scared about not having contact with this therapist? Or are you scared of not doing the treatment. Big difference.

BG

 

Danielle,
Did you talk to your therapist about TMS? Maybe he can work on this approach with you?

 

That's a great question. I think the therapist represents something steady, constant, and dependable in my life. I guess actually part of that type of therapy healing work is the development of a healthy dependency relationship with the therapist on the way to more independence...but of course that could be a sneaky way of being stuck in therapy forever...

Please say more of what you mean by this? Thanks!

 

Yes I've brought it up and he knows a whole lot about the body carrying the suppressed/repressed emotions -- the 'character armor' -- that is, in my understanding, a big part of what Reichian therapy is addressing. But I just still don't know if it is direct enough. Maybe I can bring in more specifics about how the therapist can help in this process.

 

Hi Forest, not late, I just started yesterday! I'm very happy to hear your Fibro success story. I was never technically diagnosed with it but I just fit all the symptoms. I was however diagnosed with Hashimoto's and Lyme's diseases (but they just told me this even though there was no proof in blood tests) which to me (at least in my case) are just other equivalents to fibro and to TMS.

Eighteen years? WOW!!! I feel hopeful at my 14!

Regarding removing doubt that I have a structural issue: OK here is some confusion: I fully 100% believe that the problems are caused by the TMS-related tension. But in my observation and experience, this tension creates structural issues. For example the tension causes the spine to shorten which messes lots of things up (organ placement & function, breathing, circulation, etc.). I can feel myself clenching my jaw and tightening the neck majorly, and this clamping down is throwing my whole posture out of whack. So what does it mean to believe that it's not a structural issue? THANKS! Really appreciate your input!

 

OK I just realized another sticky point for me in the TMS approach. I am reading the Day 2 article and it says,

Well with Fibro, you don't live in fear of another attack. You live in an almost constant state of attack. There is no 'resuming normal activities (or activities you enjoy, which I've also read) without fear of them causing pain' because every move you make causes pain. Even sitting still causes pain. Pain just IS. Almost no activities are enjoyable at all anymore, really. So how to choose to purposefully engage in normal activities or activities you 'enjoy' when it just feels like torture? That seems like a cruel joke.

​

ADDENDUM: just did the commitment exercise, picking 3 of my favorite activities and when i last did them, why the symptoms have prevented me from doing them, etc. Actually, you know what? I do have some favorite activities. But since i have been in so much pain for so long, most of my favorite activities involve things that reduce the pain (Svaroopa yoga, meditation, alexander technique). It's honestly been sooo long since anything unrelated to pain relief was actually enjoyable (like traveling or music or hobbies, etc.) that i don't even think of any of these things as activities I enjoy.​

 

And herein lies the problem for a lot of people. We've been living with this pain for so long that thinking of doing "that" while we feel like "this" is unthinkable. I admit that I cheat. Well yes and no. I take pain medication or have it available when I go to the beach or woods. I still carry the fear. I am active, but only under the conditions that I have "back up".

So you aren't alone. It's baby steps. I go for hours now realizing I haven't taken any medication. I am humming along with chores and the like, but still won't do the big stuff. So I totally empathize with you. I think the key is to keep doing the work and use the baby step method. Just a bit a time.

Years ago when I thought I had a back injury, I started swimming. I swam for 5 minutes the first day - which prompted a friend to tease me. But I was determined to just do a little. And I did. Now to get that going again.

There are many others who face this fear too. It's real and it's a stumbling block. Maybe your therapist can help you. What I meant by my earlier question "is it the therapist or the work?" is that we tend to get attached to our therapist for the simple reason they know us so well. And it's hard to let go of that luxury. At least mine knows me well.

Hang in there and you too will make it out of the maize.

BG

 

Thanks, BG. Appreciating the support.

I'm gonna start a new thread for my day 3 stuff but look forward to anything anyone else has to say on this thread.

 

I guess another way to look at this is that if you're always in pain, if even sitting and starting at the wall is painful, why not do something you enjoy while you're in pain? It sounds stupid, but I've found the distraction of doing something lets me tear my thoughts away from the pain and makes it subside.

You're absolutely right, tension does create structural issues, like lack of blood flow, muscle strain and aches. But these structural issues aren't the cause of these changes, they're a symptom in themselves. You can treat the structural all you want but you'll never improve in the long term until you identify and treat the cause of the tension.

Good luck with the program, I'm looking forward to reading your other posts.