Intense anxiety and crying

Hi, I am in need of some support. I am into about a week of very intense anxiety and bursts of crying. I am exhausted and overwhelmed. The good news is my back pain is just about gone. I remember hearing Eric say that when his pain went away he had really bad anxiety, so I am visualizing that healing is right around the corner if I just float through. I am about 6 months into my TMS recovery . The crying is so emotionally painful and really unpredictable. Any encouragement or similar stories would be greatly appreciated.

Best wishes to all

 

Hi Painfreefuture,

I'm sure you can tell the anxiety and bursts of crying are justified and legitimate. Emotions that strong cannot just be made up. They are coming from deep inside of you. And there's probably a lot underneath them. Usually it's the most difficult emotions that we tend to hide behind things like physical pain, addiction, angry outbursts, depression, and so on. They are the most difficult emotions you can imagine. That's why your body was fighting so hard to keep them repressed. But now they are coming out. You will get to the bottom of them, and I think you will see a lot more as you go deeper. There is very likely a lot of fear, frustration, sadness, and anger, that has built up over many years. Some of this is surfacing for the first time in your life. There is a volcano of emotion waiting to erupt inside of you. When you are crying, try to think about the most difficult times in your life, not to make yourself feel bad, but to connect the emotions that are poring out with their origins. This is what you've been wanting to do all along, but it was never allowed. If you can find a good psychotherapist, it's a great way to process these emotions and work through them.

 

Painfreefuture, you've gotten some great advice from Ellen.
I think we can be our own psychotherapist, though, if we do the journaling suggested as a major TMS pain healing technique.

I never realized the repressed anger I had about my boyhood... parents arguing over lack of money, then divorcing.
When I journaled about those early years I realized what anger baggage I had been carrying around inside of me,
and it led to forgiving my parents and the pain I had went away.

 

Thank you drreisner for the supportive words. I think I needed to hear that this is part of the process. I do have a good psychotherapist. I thought I had dealt with my past, but I think things in my present are triggering old wounds. The anxiety is so intense. I have never taken medication, but have considered it this time around. I don't want to delay healing, yet I don't want to suffer needlessly. It seems like a fine line to walk.

 

Painfreefuture, it the pain is really bad, maybe an Advil or Tylenol could be okay, but also keep believing the pain is from TMS and not structural.