Day 32 It is over. I survived. I came through

Today's journaling was about how current stresses are keeping me in pain. As I was writing, I first realised that I'm a control freak and I need to control the outcome of everything. Writing further, revealed that the need for control comes from fear of abandonment. This part - I already knew. Then as I was writing, I suddenly realised that I faced the worst abandonment once and I have survived it. That realisation made my back brain actually reel and i was almost dizzy. Then I realised that all the trauma was in the past and I survived it. I came through it and on this side I have a support system. Towards the end of the session, I wrote, I don't need those defense mechanisms anymore. And I could feel the back of my brain tingly and slowly calming down and at one point it was still.

It is a strange realisation to have - that what ever happened has happened and I have come through it and now I don't need those defence mechanisms anymore.

Anyone else felt this way? Any thoughts/comments?

 

Yes, I have felt this and it is the most exquisite and peaceful feeling. This is how we build resilience and become strong and morally courageous. It's the gift of TMS healing and one of the reasons many of us deepen and engage further with our emotional selves beyond healing.

I'm delighted for you and encourage you to cherish the insight.

Plum x

 

Thank you for sharing this! So calming and healing just to read.